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Prolonged Pain - Please Help!
Rosie0404 posted:
I've recently acquired a new boyfriend. There is just one problem; his penis is much too big for me. I have always been "tight" and he is so big, he can only use Magnum XL condoms. During sex, there is pain, but the real problem is afterwards. For days and days after sex, I have abdominal pain and bladder issues. The bladder issues break down like this: I have almost no bladder control. If I have to pee, even a little bit, I cannot "hold" it, I am going to the bathroom constantly. We always use condoms and have both been tested for STDs since our last partners. I would appriciate an explanation on why this is and if there is anything I can do to prevent this. Thanks!
BalconyBelle responded:
I have a fiance who can only use Magnum XL condoms, and like you, I'm very tight. Here are a few tips that might help you enjoy your sex life more.

  1. If sex is hurting, STOP. Give your body a break, have him ease off, then go for shallower & slower penetration (perhaps even add some additional lube) to help make things easier. Don't speed up or go deep again until you are actually enjoying yourself (aka: no pain)
  2. More foreplay & more lube for you. Definitely have him pay some attention to you with oral and manual stimulation (preferrably with one orgasm in the bag) before he tries to insert his penis. The wetter you are, the better he'll feel--so feel free to add in some store bought lube as well.
  3. Vaginal sex needs to start off slowly, to allow your body time to adjust. Once you're stretched and warmed up, then things can speed up---but going to fast at the beginning may be causing some of your pain.
  4. Experiment with different angles. Until you know what your body can and can't handle, stay away from positions noted for allowing deep penetration. Some of your discomfort may be from him hitting your cervix...positions that are shallower may prevent that from happening.
Given both of your unique physical characteristics, you CANNOT skimp on foreplay. You'll need lots of it. It is vitally important not only to insure that you enjoy sex, but also to cut down on the risk that you will actually be harmed by indulging. Lots of foreplay, lots of lube, and start off slow and steady before going wild.

If none of the above measures work, see your doctor immeadiately to eliminate any other possible causes for your adominal pain. And you might want to Google UTI (urinary tract infection), and see if the symptoms sound familiar with regards to loss of bladder control. It is not an STD, they're generally relatively harmless and easy to fix, and your doc may may have some suggestions for how to cut down on your risk of getting one (starting with going to the bathroom immeadiately after sex). I hope this helps!
Rosie0404 replied to BalconyBelle's response:
Thanks for the advice, I will definitely try out this advice and I think if that doesn't work, I will go see my doctor. I really appreciate the help.

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