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Anon_235279 posted:
So, I hooked up with a guy one night, but just oral. From then on we talked/texted often then arranged to get together again. When we did it was amazing. Since then, we've seen each other often, dinner, sex, conversation etc... At the beginning of this "relationship" we both discussed the fact that we liked being single and had no real desire for a relationship and that he also has never been faithful.
Since then, things have become complicated. He has started acting differently. Sharing personal things about himself, definitly not the norm for him. A few times together we've just cuddled, no sex, which is usually phenomenal and very physical. He tends to be protective and is very well mannered and chivalrous; a real gentleman.
Though, now I'm afraid that I'm misreading his signals. I'm starting to feel more for him now and I think it's due to the way he is treating me. I really had no intention of this leading anywhere from the start, but it's spiraling. I know I should be direct and tell him that I might have feelings. But I'm afraid that will be the end of this thing, whatever it is. I'm not ready for it to be over yet.
I just want some advice from men and those who've maybe started something more after a casual affair...good or bad results.

Thanks, Kiki
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longduckdong46 responded:
Perhaps this is his way of letting you know that he wants to be more than fwb ?
You state he is sharing more personal info with you and acting in a much different way which is out of the norm for him.
On the other hand he has been unfaithful in the past, so really quite a dilemma.
Better to be up front and not hide the feelings is my suggestion.
That way you know where you stand and nobody gets hurt.
 
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fcl responded:
I think that a simple question over a coffee like "do you have the feeling that our relationship is changing?", asked casually might just get the ball rolling. I doubt that this would put an end to your relationship. However, it's time to see if you need to change your boundaries or reconsider your ideas (both of you).

I suspect that when you say he has never been faithful you mean that he has never felt he wanted to have an exclusive relationship before and that he dated more than one girl at a time. I don't get the feeling that not being faithful meant he was a cheater. He doesn't sound that way. Perhaps he is just easing himself towards being exclusive? Perhaps he had never met anyone who made him feel like he wanted to be with them and only them before?

Above all, I'd stop trying to double guess his motivations. Just talk to him. Good communication is a step in the right direction .

Good luck to you!
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.


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