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An_239677 posted:
My boyfriend and I have been dating almost two years now and we fight non-stop and it's over the littlest things. I have a hard time trusting him because he was talking to another girl and I caught him in the lie. Everyone is saying I should leave him because he will never change and I'm so confused help!
FCL responded:
The point of dating is to find the right person for you not to find someone and try to make him fit. It doesn't sound like he's the one for you, does it?
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
Junior_Samples replied to FCL's response:
I agree with the pp. You are simply Wasting your time.
If you are arguing non-stop like you say and he has no desire to change, for your peace of mind....move along to a better situation.
jss123 replied to Junior_Samples's response:
I agree with the other posters.

If I don't trust the person I'm with its always a sign the relationship is at an end.
Endless arguing is very depressing. Why go through that ?

One definite plus is you are just dating and aren't married. You can end this relationship a lot less painfully.

I'd definitely move on.
Britanywillis replied to FCL's response:
I think he is the right person for me. I just keep thinking about him talking to this other girl. He lets me check his phone and stuff and that makes me feel better but still...
wonderingaboutthis replied to Britanywillis's response:
My first reaction is that I have to wonder if you're really right for him as much as if he's right for you. You're upset because he talked to another girl? Really? I don't mean to sound mean or judgmental, but that seems pretty immature, and if you two are constantly picking at each other and arguing, it reinforces the immaturity angle to me. And you have to "check his phone"? Really? You have that much mistrust in him that you need to play detective and then you post "I think he's the right person for me"?

You "caught him in a lie" you know for a fact that he lied to you, and if he did, about what? Something inconsequential, maybe to get you "off his back", or did you catch him sleeping with somebody else and he lied about that? There's a reason he lied, whatever the lie is, but is it really a lie? And is it such a bad lie that you can't talk it over, understand exactly what took place, and then forgive him?

Hate to say it, but I don't see a chance for your relationship unless and until you two can sit down in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental manner and calmly discuss what is bothering each of you, and work together within a spirit of compromise to put these constant arguments behind you.

Successful relationships are based on trust, compromise, giving as much as you receive, and require lots of work. Screaming at each other or acting in any adversarial manner toward each other is nothing but a pure waste of time and indicative of two ego problems.

Do the two of you even know what you want out of this relationship? I ask that because you started right out with "Everybody says I should....." you're talking to and listening to other people, but you won't talk or listen to each other.

Sorry to say this, but I don't see much maturity evident here, for both your future benefit, I'd say this one is "game over".
aprilina619 replied to wonderingaboutthis's response:
so true ^^^^

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