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What are thoughts on phone sex and cyber sex?
Fun to you, or just a waste of time?
Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Author Unknown
Being married ever since computers became available, I don't get to participate in cyber-sex, but I would probably enjoy it. Fortunately my wife is very cool with regard to internet porn, I have her blessing for the times she's not availble to me, and she admits to even enjoying it herself on rare occasions when I'm not around. I think we'd both love to have cyber-sex (with each other) just as something unique and different. Unfortunately, both our offices monitor non-work computer use very closely, so we wouldn't dare try.
If used as an occasional "something different and exciting", cyber-sex sounds fun and just another perk of the computer age. But like everything else, if it becomes a substitute to real sex or relationships, not only is it a waste of time but probably actually harmful to otherwise normal human interaction.
I admit I was naive, but after being deceived and embarrassed in chatrooms a couple of times, I became more careful about who and what to believe. I had some good, deep conversations with people on all kinds of topics. In some conversations gender doesn't matter at all. I'm a good listener and by asking the right questions I became very skillful at navigating the various roles and posers, and coming up with a few of my own. I stumbled on chatrooms with people willing to engage in bdsm cybersex. I could share my own fantasies and explore other people's. (is that real sex?) I found it was easy to get people to talk about personal relationships and marriage and their deepest thoughts and fantasies. I have never been so turned on for so long of a time as I have in chat. I have used these experiences as an aphrodesiac on several occasions.
One activity I have explored is pretending to be a woman in chat. And I must say, I have become very good at it. It started when I used a sex-neutral screen name and some chatters mistook me for a female. It was sure different from typing 'hello' to everyone and getting no responses. I enjoyed how easy it was to chat using some female name and get loads of attention. It reminded me of those disco clubs in real life which were chaotic and people would try to meet others, with a sexual undercurrent always going on, but also with a lot of escapism, anonymity and rude impersonal behavior. In chat it was like that but I was on top for a change. I could drop a conversation or be as rude as women were to me in those discos. Maybe it was the easy attention or maybe I was playing with homosexual fantasies, but I enjoyed being a "woman" on chat although it didn't always lead to sexually-stimulating conversation. I have created a chat personna that is in some ways the type of woman that I've always admired and wanted to marry. They see me as intelligent, classy, and sexy with an enviable life, depending on my mood. As a "woman" on chat, I have easy power. I get respect from men that I don't get in real life. I can delve into the most personal aspects of people I chat with, view their sexual lives almost on demand, and keep them genuinely interested in me. I can bring a strong man to his knees sometimes.
And I must say, from being a "woman" in chat I see what you women go through in real life! There are all kinds of macho men out there; men whose pickup lines you can see coming a mile away. And stupid men. One idiot I was chatting with (married!) revealed enough about himself that I was able to look up his address and see his home on Google streetview. There is the rare sadist; there are many, many married men in sexless marriages or who just want more sex than their wives are giving them; men with embarrassing fantasies, including lots of guys with masochistic fantasies they want to act out. There are a few women too: one insisted on calling me. If I were a woman in real life it would be easy to pick and choose and exploit any kind of sexually-driven man I wanted to.
So the experience has made me see that yes, there are rude and stupid men out there who think with their little heads and not their big heads. I can understand some of the male paranoia that women have. But what I still don't get is why many women categorize all men that way and reject the good men. Are you blind? It was easy for me to spot certain types of men and keep them away, while enjoying others immensely. I'm convinced that some women simply want bad, crude, stupid men.
So call me what you will, but it was fun cyber-sexing in chatrooms. I don't do it much anymore. It's something everyone should explore.
If you are curious about homosexuality just do it but be safe.

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