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How can I stretch bigger?
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irish_eyes91 posted:
Is there anything I can do to stretch myself bigger down there? I love my fiance so much but hes way to big for me! We waited almost a year before going to bed together and I just found out hes huge. Im really small 5 foot 1 and 95 lbs and we have tried 4 times now but he cant even get inside me. We measured him Im not kidding hes over 10 inches long and over 7 inches around. I feel like such a baby about this but I just cant stretch big enough and it hurts bad.

I tried going to my gyn but he laughed and said there is no such thing as too big a penis because women can stretch big enough to give birth. He just said use more lube and go slow which we have tried 4 times since but he just wont fit inside! I can feel my opening stretch but to a point where it just wont stretch any more. I bled this last time and we just dont know what to do next. Can anybody help us?
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alaska_mommy responded:
Sounds like your gyn was a jerk. I get so annoyed hearing that "Hey you can fit a baby through there so there should be no problem." Yeah, we can fit a baby but the body undergoes radical changes to be able to do that. It's not like the vagina is just a giant rubber band. It can only take so much.
Your fiance sounds huge! I'm not sure what else you can do if he's really that big and you're a petite girl. Over time, you might be able to stretch to accommodate him, but then again, he might just be too big for you. I would say see if you can buy a set of vaginal dilators (used to treat vaginismus) and see if you can gradually stretch it out over time to be able to fit. You'll have to be patient with yourself, I'm guessing it won't happen overnight. In the meantime, pleasure each other in other ways, he can also use his fingers to gently stretch you and try to help things along.
Good luck!
 
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elle0317 responded:
Can he finger you without pain? Have you tried dialators? you would start small and work your way up. You didn't give any background on your foreplay methods, but you would require a lot of it to work up to get your juices flowing and to help relax you. He really needs to take his time with you. Your Dr is right, you can accomodate him you just have to practise, 4 times isn't a whole lot. Keep trying.

Another thought is if you are anticipating the pain, you probably are tensing up and that can make this situation worse. Try to relax as much as you can, bubble bath, erotic massage etc...whatever works for you.
 
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wonderingaboutthis responded:
Oh my, your fiance is definitely on the large side. It might take some time, but eventually you will be able to have sex with him. I agree your doctor sounds like a jerk. What he's saying may be correct but laughing at you and just giving you basic information like more lube and going slower is almost no help at all.

Have you had penetrative sex with other guys, or is your fiance your first? Like Elise said, you are going to need to be completely relaxed to be able to accept such a large penis, especially as petite as you are. If this is your first sexual encounter, I am wondering if you are especially nervous or tensed up, even though you may not think so.

Your doctor should have suggested a set of dilators to you. If you have health insurance and he writes a prescription for them they should be covered, If they're not, the medical-grade ones are quite expensive, but you don't have to buy those. Instead, I would suggest going online to any of the sex toy sites. You can find rubber or silicone toys (dildos) that come in a variety of sizes and shapes. You could buy two or three sizes, and work up slowly to the larger ones.

If you haven't had sex before this, the bleeding could have been caused by your hymen being ruptured so try not to let the blood deter you from trying again. Above all, both of you need to be patient and understand that you two are pretty much at the opposite ends of the scale when it comes to size. Keep trying, slowly and carefully, making sure you are as relaxed as possible and well-lubricated. Above all, listen to your body. Pain is there to protect you, and anything more than minor discomfort should tell you both to stop for a while.

While it may seem impossible right now, eventually you will be able to enjoy sex together, it will just take time and patience.

Best of luck to both of you and congratulations on your engagement
 
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irish_eyes91 responded:
Its not like Im a virgin Im 21 and I have been masterbating for years and have orgasms. I have a small vibrator and I can put that inside.

Ive had sex before. Five times with one other guy who was a lot smaller. The first time I bled from losing my virginity so thats not it. Actually the first guy made me bleed one time also from being too impatient getting inside me. I split a little right at the bottom of my opening. After that though with him all we had to do was go slow for a little but then it felt great.

I get plenty wet with my fiance but we bought some lube anyway. I'm really not nervous and were totally not rushing things. We spend hours cuddling in bed watching TV and I am completely turned on first. Its more like Im just stretching as far as I can go and cant stretch any more. He can get the head in but past that is where he's really big. No kidding weve laid there for a half hour with him pushing lightly but I just cant open up any farther.

Ive tried stretching with my fingers and so has my fiance. Hes made me orgasm orally first then putting a finger inside I feel like I open up in there okay. But there's like a wide web of skin at the bottom of my vagina that doesn't stretch. Thats what I think is the problem getting him past that. I never thought of the dildo idea but am ready to try anything.

We have to do something. I have dreamed of a guy like my fiance since I was little and were just perfect for each other. We just so want to be able to make love!!
 
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wonderingaboutthis replied to irish_eyes91's response:
You mentioned something that might just be the problem. That "wide web of skin" at the entrance to your vagina that doesn't stretch. Reading your post, it sounds possible that internally your vagina is elastic enough to accept you partner, but the skin at the outside of your vagina isn't. You said it feels like you "open up" inside after orgasm, and it sounds to me like it's just the entrance to your vagina that's too tight.

That web of skin is called the fourchette, and it's actually where your outer labia join at the bottom. If it's too tight, intercourse can be painful or impossible with such a large penis.

Painful intercourse is called Dyspareunia. Here's a link to a definiton and description of this and a relatively minor surgical procedure to loosen that area.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perineoplasty

I'd find another gynecologist that is a little more interested in helping and ask about this surgery. I sure hope this helps, you two sound like a remarkable couple!
 
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irish_eyes91 replied to wonderingaboutthis's response:
I came back here to say thanks to wonderingaboutthis and other people who answered questions I had. I clicked the link you posted and what I read made sense. I have a nurse friend who got me in right away to see a gynecologist who does perineoplasty. You were right. It's not my vagina thats too small. I have an extended perineal fourchette. Thats that wide web of skin I was talking about. If I look at myself in a mirror laying back that web of skin is almost like shelf sitting there in front of my vaginal opening.

This doctor was much more willing to listen to what I was saying. My fiances penis is so big it cant get past that web of skin because it doesnt stretch and thats whats been tearing and bleeding and not my vagina.

The doctor said I would probably have problems with even normal size men. Dilators wont help because its not my vagina thats to small its this web of skin in the way. Its not even in the mucous membrane just the perineum. Anyway I found out that I can have a minor procedure where the doctor will snip a triangle of skin away from my fourchette allowing complete access to my vagina. He said its basically just the opposite of the surgery women get to tighten their vaginal opening after childbirth. Instead of sewing it tighter he will open it larger and after I heal we should have no problems at all having sex.

I am so happy I came here:) You cant imagine what it was like thinking I may never be able to make love to the man I love and am going to marry. But even this doctor acted like I was crazy when I said my fiance was so big. I told him his measurements and he said I shouldnt listen to men when they say how big they are because there was no way hes that big. I felt like calling my fiance in the room and having him drop his pants! I just let it go by though. We're just both so happy this surgery is there. Im calling the doctor back this week to tell him to go ahead and schedule the surgery.

Thanks to everybody from both of us you have been a great help!
 
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wonderingaboutthis replied to irish_eyes91's response:
IrishEyes, you are so welcome! And I'm so glad you have a diagnosis and a plan to take care of the problem. Sex is such a wonderful gift and it's meant for all adults to enjoy.

I enjoy some occasional porn, and I've seen women with that very "web of skin" before. With some it's quite prominent, it's almost as if their vagina is "back behind it" It probably isn;t as much as a problem with women of larger stature (that aren't as petite as you) and with more average sized men. It's kind of unique that life's "roll of the dice" put such a petite woman together with a man with such large "equipment". And it's wonderful that now that doesn't have to be a problem for you two.

AS to your doctor's comment about not listening to men when they talk about their size, again he's yet another doctor that over generalizes everything. What is up with doctors anyway? What an arrogant comment "there's no way he's that big" as if he's an authority on penis size and you have no idea what you're talking about...and this coming from a doctor who does nothing but deal with women's reproductive systems. Probably the only penis he's ever seen is his own...I wish your fiance would have came into the room with an erection and dropped his pants and said "measure this, wise guy..."

Best of luck with the surgery and I hope you two have a long and happy marriage with an incredibly satisfying sex life.
 
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An_253255 responded:
I was just wondering if you went through with the procedure, and if you did how everything turned out? Also, how long was your recovery period? Thanks!
 
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rachelsmith replied to An_253255's response:
Hi there, The above lady had this issue along time ago. 3 years and you posted 7 months ago! I have the exact same problem! I am interested in the procedure and how it was completed and If it worked! My Gyno wants to do a surgery on me too. she wants to cut out the band of skin and then stitch me up on the sides (so the band won't grow back together) which will basically remove that band of skin that doesn't stretch (hopefully getting ride of the tearing issue). No other parts of my vagina tear (just that one band splits in the middle every time I had sex.) I'm scared that this will not work and cause me to tear even more! I was wondering if you have an update! Thanks so much


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