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    Unable to have orgasm.
    An_241584 posted:
    I'm eighteen years old and have been having sex for two years. I've never had an orgasm and recently I've had difficulty getting wet on my own. With my most recent boyfriend is the closest I think I've been to having an orgasm but I'm not really sure how I would know if I was getting 'close', but this only happens during oral sex. I've just tried to accept that I can't orgasm but now is it becoming frustrating in my relationship and for myself.
    The issue with getting wet is the most frustrating problem that I have right now. I'm young and I shouldn't be having any sort of problems like that. I talked to my doctor about it and he gave me a cream that was supposed to 'clean' out my vagina but even now I am still having trouble lubricating on my own. I'm embarassed to go back to the doctor. I do not have a constant dryness down there, it just doesn't get 'wet' when I'm aroused and I can tell it gets on my boyfriends nerves, no matter how hard he tries to help the cause, it doesn't work. I've never previously had this problem until about two months ago. I don't feel that my issue in getting wet is why I can't have orgasms.
    Is there any way to know for sure if you can or can not orgasm?
    wonderingaboutthis responded:
    First you should know that most women (65% I believe) do not have orgasms from penetration alone. With most it requires clitoral stimulation, often quite a lot of it. The reason you are "getting close" with oral stimuilation is that your clitoris is being stimulated. In most sex positions, your guy's penis is providing very little stimulation to your clit. Many women either rub their clit while they're being penetrated, or have their guy do it. Another way is like you're doing, getting as close as you can during foreplay. Just so you know that nothing is wrong with you, this is very normal with most women.

    Another thing to realize is that your orgasm is very much tied to many non-physical considerations. If you are nervous, tired, worried about something, or not feeling well, your orgams can be very elusive if not impossible. And frankly, the biggest enemy of the female oprgasm is trying too hard to achieve it. Just relax, take the attitude that you're going to enjoy the sex whether you have an orgasm or not. If you're in a hurry, you're setting yourself up for no orgasm from the start.

    Do you masturbate? That is how alot of women have their first orgasms and "learn" to have more. A small vibrator around or on your clitoris is a very good way to climax.

    About not getting wet, I wonder again if you're sort of rushing your sex. It can take time to lubricate fully. If you've been with the same partner for a while and have slipped into a "routine" for sex, although it may not feel like it, some of the excitement may be wearing away. If you've been checked by a doctor and he's found nothing wrong physically, it is probably more psychological.

    Do you still get wet when you masturbate? If you do, it's likely just you getting used to your partner and not being quite as excited or aroused as before. Getting wet can be an emotionally driven event also, and if your boyfriend is telling you it's "Getting on his nerves" that's just more pressure, and not much help. Tell him to chill out - if he gives you oral sex, saliva works just fine. Use lubricated condoms. Your juices can diminish from a cold, the flu, and where you are in your menstrual cycle.

    All in all, relax...stressing about these two things is no help and you'll have that orgasm when everything is just right.
    GuardSquealer replied to wonderingaboutthis's response:
    The best thing to do about the wetness issue is to buy some lubricant. They sell it at just about any grocery store or drug store. It works great and can enhance the experience. I have used it with almost all of my long term partners. It doesn't mean that something is wrong with you to use it or that you don't find your partner exciting. And once you try it he will like it too.

    Mainly with the orgasm , you need to find out how to make yourself orgasm first, and then you can figure out what it takes and then help him to get you there.

    Helpful Tips

    Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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