Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up
Pleasing her orally ???
avatar
lovemyladyalways posted:
I am 59 and have had cancer issues in the past and can not perform as well as i should sexually but i would like to get creative ideas in how to please my wife orally. Sex life is not very frequent but would like to give my wife the thrills she deserves. Hope i found the right place to get this
information since my manhood is not up to par, i still feel my duty to this
beautiful lady who has been at my side through thick and thin going on for twenty five years. Thanks to All wishing to reply !
Reply
FirstPrevious12NextLast
 
avatar
fcl responded:
Here are a couple of very good links. The first is to the basics - don't be put off - check that you have mastered all aspects of the basics before going on to the advanced part. You'll find that they also have exercises that you can do to perfect your technique. My personal advice would be to do this step by step and test everything that you learn as you go along. I'm sure you'll make her very happy!


http://www.sexinfo101.com/pw_cunnilingus.shtml

http://www.sexinfo101.com/cunnilingussecrets.shtml

Finally, I would like to say how much I admire your attitude. Men like you are few and far between. Your lady is very lucky.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
avatar
lovemyladyalways replied to fcl's response:
Thank You for the web sites info. Another question is that my, i trim my mustache usually above the lip line a tad. Would the hair bother my wifes' sensitive areas of the vagina ?
 
avatar
fcl replied to lovemyladyalways's response:
Actually, what causes most discomfort is a moustache that is trimmed too short. It feels like stubble (even though it's longer than that). A nice soft moustache feels pretty good I speak from experience ...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
avatar
lovemyladyalways replied to fcl's response:
Need more advise !! Fore play is ok between us, hugging and kissing even a sensual massage on occasion. Should I read about cunnilingus sites with my wife ? Would I please her
better with a vibrator rather than my tongue ? Sorry for all the
questions, don't want to shock my wife this late in our relationship. She knows i can't get it up like i use to.
 
avatar
fcl replied to lovemyladyalways's response:
I would read those sites alone (make it a surprise for her!) and practice the exercises. As for tongue or vibrator - those are two very different sensations. I'd try both... on two very separate occasions. Start with your tongue.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
avatar
lovemyladyalways replied to fcl's response:
Happy New Year !
I started out with the usual fore-play hugs & kisses over my
sweetheart. She likes it very much when i pay attention to her
breasts. As i slowly nudged downward she seemed a bit
surprized but allowed me to continue. After licking her honey-pot, i noticed a little tense movement. My wife at first pulled
me toward her for a very short time then said that she had
enough. Was i doing something wrong ? Why would she
want to stop me from doing something that is suppose to be
very pleasant for women ?
I probably be kicked out of bed if i ever tried a vibrator on her ?
I tried a slow licking up & down, then a dozen or so quick
ones at the very top of the clitoris.
 
avatar
fcl replied to lovemyladyalways's response:
I would say that you paid perhaps too much attention to her clitoris. Many women cannot stand much stimulation there. Next time (because you're not going to stop there I hope!), try licking around he clitoris, getting closer and close until you find the limit. Also, bear in mind that if she is unused to this kind of stimulation she may need a little time getting used to the idea. Finally, discuss this with her. She's the one who holds the answers. Do it over breakfast, or in the evening, NOT in bed. Casually, ask her what it was that made her draw back. You might be surprised.

The more easily you can talk about sex, the more easily youi will be able to try new things ...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
avatar
lovemyladyalways replied to fcl's response:
Since the last time i wrote, everything has been going good so far. Purchased a vibrator matter a fact two, one smooth and the other with ridges. The oral education that i am experimenting upon my wife with is great. The use of the vibrators seem to please her also if only used externally along her vagina, inserting either as to replace my poor manhood does nothing. Is there a special way in using the vibrators?
Should they be inserted or not? Can i do any harm, don't want to turn my wife off from the new way of pleasing her.
She pleases me the best that my manhood can take since
the previous bout of cancer left me less than suitable for her.
But i thank God for giving her to me, Thank you again for any advice.
 
avatar
fcl replied to lovemyladyalways's response:
To be honest, the way you use a vibrator depends entirely on your partner's tastes However, many women get little pleasure from inserting them (and I seriously doubt that you would turn your wife off by doing that) - just ask your wife to let you know when you do something she likes (or loves!). And no, you cannot do any harm by inserting a vibrator.

Have youi thought about asking her to use a vibrator on you? Try placing it at the base of your penis, or behind your testicles, or both ... Pleasure doesn't have to be solely one way ...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
avatar
lovemyladyalways replied to fcl's response:
Since my manhood does not stand up to par regularly and the rubber phallus that came with the one vibrator is totally much bigger than mine would or ever did get, would it be wise to use it at all upon my wife ? Your comment before about most women not really interested in a vibrator used interally, who would like a phallus that comes with a vibrator being used then?
 
avatar
ruasbizze2 replied to lovemyladyalways's response:
Gentlemen - I am in a different kind of situation that is necessitating the use of a vibrator/phallus in order for my wife to have an orgasm. I have started taking Zoloft & Welbutrin for depression & anxiety. Side effect is loss of ability to cum or, finish the act of intercourse satisfactorily for both of us.. We still try a couple times a week but, I tire out before she is able to orgasm. Thus, we have a couple "replacements" that we use. One is fairly rigid and 8 inches with ridges. The other is a 12 incher that is much more flexible and also has variable vibration speeds and motions. My wife likes both of them and is able to orgasm within a few minutes of initial insertion...yes, we use these internally to simulate intercouse. I am 6 1/2" x 4 1/2" when erect so both are adequate replacements if not enhancements to our sex life. The key to her enjoyment is foreplay and adequate lubricant. Don't be afraid ot performing cuninlinguis on her as part of the process. Just don't dwell on one spot/location and....come up for air on a regular basis.
Have fun .. make it fun for her and she will reciprocate in kind.
 
avatar
lovemyladyalways replied to ruasbizze2's response:
I am pretty much in a poor state when it comes to cumming or performing satisfactorily. That is why I initially started this
discussion of pleasing my dear wife orally. She seems to enjoy
my efforts very much. I think the vibrators might have given
her a surprise that she wasn't expecting, so that is why i did
not show her the phallus that came with the one vibrator.
How does one suggest to ones wife: Honey i got us a new
toy since i'm a failure in this department now.
Thank You - ruasbizze2 and FCL for your advice.
 
avatar
fcl replied to lovemyladyalways's response:
You absolutely do not say that ! You say, "Wait till you see the surprise I have for you tonight!"

Please be kind to yourself. You are a good man. I'm sure you are very loved and it makes me sad that you put yourself down this way.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
avatar
lovemyladyalways replied to fcl's response:
I hope i didn't give the impression that my sex life was a complete loss. My wife and i make our relationship work
very well. My choice of the word failure was wrong to use
even though my sexual manhood rises to the occasion
infrequently. Even with viagra or levitra, once a month or so
was pretty much the average for waking the (little guy) up to
do a very limited performance. i knew i had to do better.
Now with the new education of cunniligus to try to satisfy my
wife more, hopefully twice a week, i don't want her to get down
when she can not return the favors through no fault of hers.
I love to lay with her and enjoy all the fore-play.
Massaging her body with oil and snuggle that warmth is great.
I just feel unsure about bringing the rubber phallus in to
replace me. Am i being unsecure or can a woman become
accustomed to it to achieve her satisfaction needs?


Helpful Tips

Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
Was this Helpful?
5 of 7 found this helpful

Related Drug Reviews

  • Drug Name User Reviews

Report Problems to the
Food and Drug Administration

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

For more information, visit Dr. Becker-Phelps' website