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Wanna have sex? What's your sign?
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Chris_WebMD_Staff posted:
How do you know when your SO wants to have sex? Signs they give you? Or what signs do you give?
Chrissy~

Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
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queston responded:
When hell freezes over.
 
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Chris_WebMD_Staff replied to queston's response:
I'm sorry queston..... Why what's going on?
Chrissy~

Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Author Unknown
 
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Anon_125014 replied to Chris_WebMD_Staff's response:
I'm sorry to hear that aspect of your relationship is on the rocks queston.

For my SO and I...um...we're pretty direct. Kissing, caressing and generalized making out tends to have a rather predictable effect since we both have high drives. We also start things by telling the other what we'd like to do/have done to us--either face-to-face, over the phone, or email.

Immediate signals include me stepping out in a garter belt and thigh highs, him walking up to me and whispering I want you, and me telling him I miss feeling him inside me.


Occasionally as a special treat, one of us will go all out & set the scene for seduction. It's always a wonderful surprise and leads to an even better night/weekend.
 
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queston replied to Chris_WebMD_Staff's response:
It was mostly a joke--we enjoy perfunctory sex at least 3 times a month.
 
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Chris_WebMD_Staff replied to queston's response:
Ha! I didn't dare assume it was a joke but it did cross my mind! It's my standard answer. Kidding!!
Chrissy~

Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Author Unknown
 
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tlkittycat1968 responded:
DH will actually send me a text message saying he wants me. My drive isn't as strong as hubby's so when I'm in the mood I'll either lay on top of the blankets naked (except for socks; I get cold feet) or if the weather is warmer, I'll come out of the bedroom naked or in on of my outfits.
 
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wonderingaboutthis responded:
My wife is verbally quite conservative, talking about her desires outside the bedroom is something she rarely does. As a result I am the initiator 99% of the time. Which is weird as I think about it, because as soon as the bedroom door is closed, she becomes a totally different woman.

Answering your question, due to her clamming up if I try to talk about having sex, I usually initiate by doing physical things such as coming up behind her and fondling her breasts, sliding my hand down the front of her pants, or turning the bed down while she's in the shower and leading her to the bed when she gets out. Thankfully it always results in a big smile and an " mmmmm....Okay!!!"
 
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SoccerGirl99 responded:
Normally my SO will offer me a tender kiss on the cheek, followed by a slap on the back of the head. And then he'll dismiss himself to the bedroom (expecting me to follow). I never do *hehe*. Then it GOES DOWN.
 
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Anon_4048 responded:
I thought about this question when I saw it posted, but couldn't come up with an answer. Now, 2 weeks later and having thought more and going through the experience over that time, I'd have to say: I have no idea. Sometimes, I get "signals" in the form of playful statements through the day or evening, but when we get to bed, she says she's tired and falls asleep. Other nights, she might say, "I'm tired, let's go to bed" and she amorous - other times, it's roll over and go to sleep.

So, I really don't know. On the positive side, I'm always surprised. On the negative, sometimes I feel like a heel because I've misread her mood - and there's no successful defense for a misread either way.
 
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AlexKatehakis responded:
I recently wrote an article about this for the examiner. You can read it here:

http://web9.b.examiner.com/sex-relationships-in-los-angeles/how-do-you-know-when-your-partner-is-the-mood

All couples establish a 'language' around initiating or declining sex. It's always important to ask yourself (and your partner), is this language working, or do you need to co-create a new dialogue around sex?
 
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Anon_4048 replied to AlexKatehakis's response:
Thanks for the link to the article, I think that the suggestions are good and I'll give them a try. I think that I've tried many of them, including couples therapy, but maybe I haven't come from the correct perspective. My wife is not very open to suggestions that every aspect of her life is not perfect, so even mentioning that our relationship is not complete puts her on the defensive - even from the "it's me, not you" angle. So, you can expect my next reply to be originating from the couch.


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