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fonnie2007 posted:
just turned 23 on the 4th. I am ashamed to state this but I have never had the big O. i am single at the moment which is fine due to the fact that I have a 5 week old. What I need help with is that I have never had a sex drive ever. I have had sex many times but never cause I really wwanted to just because they wanted to. Can anyone tell me what may be wrong with me?
BalconyBelle responded:
The fact that you've never had sex because you wanted to is probably directly related to why you've never had the big O. It sounds like you've experimented with different partners and gone along with their desires without ever really having any desire for them or sex with them for yourself.

What you might need is to enjoy being single, enjoy being a mom, and when you're ready--enjoy the company and companionship of someone you actually want to be romantically/physically involved with. You can't make yourself want someone. You either do or you don't. If you haven't experienced either desire or orgasms with your partners, there's probably a reason why.

I'd get your hormones checked out to rule out a possible imbalance as the root cause--then hold out for someone you actually want. When you desire someone, sex isn't about giving in, or submitting, or (cringe) a chore or obligation to keep your partner satisfied--it's about pleasure, sensation, enjoyment, intimacy (and yes, climax).

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