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How to kill sex drive when fulfilling it isn't possible?
An_243788 posted:
Is there any way to greatly reduce or eliminate my interest in sex? I spent the past 8 years in an environment with few young women my age (and blamed that for missing out), but am now surrounded by them and realize the reason most of my peers have had dozens of women and I'm not is that I simply don't have a decent or average attractiveness (too much hair, acne, chest deformity, big nose). To make matters worse I'm starting to look old for my age. I have great other characteristics (from humor to intelligence to career success), so I'm able to make friends left and right but I can't form any kind of relationships based on sexual desire at this point despite it being my focus. I'm not a virgin and can be very slick with words and mannerisms but women are ultimately turned off and would never think of me in "that way". I'm not getting caught up on an isolated case as this seems to be a recurring theme.

I think my best bet now is to find a way to get my mind off of sex and on other things. From the news to media to talk of birth control and my friends stories, it's getting to be too much. I need to somehow not care about what I can't have. Is there a solution for this? I assume I'm not the only one out there. It's on my mind 99% of the time now and can't focus at all on work. I do work out and that helps my mood a little but not enough.
fcl responded:
This may sound obvious but I'll ask anyway - are you masturbating? Often?
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
dfgbull responded:
Just a few ideas. First, physical attractiveness is not nearly as important to women as it is to men. It is more likely that your insecurities about your appearance is more to blame than your actual looks. Second, as FCL says, masturbating frequently will help take the "edge" off your sex drive and allow you to think about other things.

Helpful Tips

Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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