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Difficulty having an orgasm?
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Karen Luster, MD posted:
Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David Palladin
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bluestang responded:
Hey I need help in a desperate way! I'm 22yrs old an for some reason I can not have an orgasm and I also have no sex drive what so ever! I've been to the doctor and she doesn't say much at all just changes my birth control. Can you recomind something for me? This is making me depressed and killing are relationship!!! PLEASE HELP
 
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georgiagail replied to bluestang's response:
Can you achieve an orgasm through masturbation?

Gail
 
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alaska_mommy replied to bluestang's response:
Did you use to have a sex drive and it vanished for some reason? And have you been able to orgasm before?
Are you on any other medications?
 
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jss123 replied to alaska_mommy's response:
Did you have a sex drive before you went on contraception ?

iI so your doctor might be trying to find one that doesn't interfere with your sex drive.
From what my girlfriend says they definitely affect her sex drive.

It would be nice though if your doctor was a a lot more supportive and telling you what she is trying to do.

If you aren't happy with your doctor, it might be worthwhile getting a second opinion from another doctor.
I changed my doctor a couple of times until I found one who was thorough and didn't treat me like an idiot when I asked them something. He always tells me what he is doing and why.

They can maybe run some tests to see what your hormone levels are like. (Eg testosterone).

Just remember, its NOT your fault !

Good luck.
 
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johnnypublik responded:
Hello, I am 25 years old and a newly wed. I am having problems sexually with my wife. Here's some background- I'm in the 10 percentile of just about everything. What I mean is that I'm one of the 10% of males in the world who have never masturbated and I am one of the 10% of males who have a downward erection. By having a downward erection I am not afforded the luxuries of doing some positions that other people are but I get a normal erection with no pain and my penis enlarges. It just does not point up or straight. It stays pointed down like it would if it was flaccid but it enlarges and gets longer. I never knew really realized that I was in the minority with that issue until recently. Still the same, I like my downward erection. It doesn't give me any problems other than some positions being out of the question because it might hurt. The masturbation issue is a strange one. I have never once masturbated in my entire life. Its not a moral or a religion thing either. I believe masturbation a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do and I'm aware that the other 90-99% of the world do it but I have absolutely no desire to masturbate. Zero desire. I have to tried to touch myself down there and put my penis in my hand but I simply cannot do it. It provides me with no pleasure. I just do not aroused by this notion and it seems pointless to even think a hand could replace a vagina. My wife is BEAUTIFUL. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Thats why I married her. I have erections at least 20 times a day if not more just thinking about her but intercourse is a problem and I need to fix this ASAP. I want to be inside of my woman as well as have kids someday. I will achieve an erection almost instantly when she touches me but I have a problem getting it in because it seems as if she is too tight. She says she isn't. I will be fully hard but when trying to insert my penis it will not penetrate. Just bend at the doorway. I tried lube but still no penetration. I acheived penetration once and that was when she took her own hand and gently forced my penis into her vagina. It popped out though soon after when the walls of her vagina contracted onto my penis. Since then she has not tried to force it in. There is no problem with her forcing it in but its kind of hard because I am very ticklish in the pelvic area. I have been known to laugh when people touch me in that area and during sex and its hard to stop. Because that area is so sensitive... when I get on top of her and she takes hold of my penis my whole body gets rigid and stiff and I find it difficult to move. She finds it difficult to be initmate when I get so rigid like that. Its like having a log or statue over you. It happens whenever I'm on top of her and she takes hold of my penis or sometimes when she attempts oral sex. I enjoy oral sex but it does feel different and I usually only enjoy it standing because of the position my penis is in. I have only ejaculated once since being married for a month. That was during night. My wife stroked my penis repeatedly as I held onto the headboard of the bed and tried to maintain all of my focus on kissing her. and not the tickles in my pelvic region. Since then I have not had any luck. Takes a long time for me to cum. I take her hand and get it to massage or stroke my penis everyday now. It feels good to start off but when she goes fast it just feels different so sometimes I stop her. We bought a dildo and it seems to go in fine. Why am I having trouble with penetration? Am I not hard enough? It looks extremely hard and I feel hard and sexually charged but when I get up to bat she tells me to push or push harder and it just bends and after two fail attempts I usually lose my erection and have to try again or just give up. I have tried Korean Red Ginseng and Yohimbe. Do I need Viarga or something? Can you provide some help to me? No I am not gay or Catholic and yes I am very attracted to my wife. No I was never sexually abused.
 
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fcl replied to johnnypublik's response:
I wonder whether it isn't just a question of position. The positions you're using may not be compatible (for lack of a better word) with your downward pointing erection. Have you tried any "reverse" positions? Here are a few suggestions:

http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/recinopdir.html

http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/lyinopandfac.html

http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/shedoesbacbe.html

http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/recsigofposa.html

The last one would probably be easier for you if she knelt.

Anyway, those are just a few ideas - HRH!
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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jennadan replied to johnnypublik's response:
hello,
you may have already tried this, but most of the time before i have intercourse my partner has to finger me and your wife may be the same way and just doesn't know it. depending on the size of you you may have to start with 1 finger and work up to 2 then 3 and maybe even for or 5, but do it slowly. you could tear her otherwise. if that doesn't work you might be nervious and that could be the reason your not hard enough. theres nothing wrong with it. i dated a guy who had never done the stuff you were talking about and he was nervious. i suggest you talk to your wife about this. its going to take time. try not to be stressed about it. it makes it worse


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