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    Paja or Anyone else
    Nekethia posted:
    This is kind of weird to be asking but need an input.OK say you have a little in your crew and that's all you know.Don't know name,weather this one is M/F or age.This one is sort of like TY you know,just stays in the wings.This one holds something and I get the feel that it's something I need.A strong feeling of like OK I know what you're going through and I'm here to help.Does that make any sense to anyone?-No negative vibe or harm I get from this one.

    OK I have to go to the hospital but will check in when I return.First I need to locate my car.I'll find it sooner or later!

    Y'all be breezy and stay easy!
    Catmagic responded:
    yes makes sense but you need to realize you can't just storm over to the little and demand they tell you "their" secrets. They maybe a part of you, but they probably feel like they don't belong to you.

    I would strongly suggest you set a place for them at your inner table and let them know they are welcome in your "self".

    Before you go doing any trauma recovery, how about simple intorducing yourselves first?

    I have to head out to work so I'm off the board for the night.
    talk to you tommorrow.

    Peace be the journey

    Nekethia replied to Catmagic's response:
    Thanks paja,

    As always for your patience and words of wisdom.Having a hard time staying focus so if you do get where I'm coming from or going with this is OK.I was having a conversation with someone tonight and they was stating facts but a little uneasy for me.I don't like letting people down that has been so helpful to us you know.Makes us feel like we are evil and don't really acknowledge what they have done for us or the impact they have on us.

    Again thanks-Be Breezy A stay Easy!
    I don't like the reflections staring back at me.It's just a crazy flow of ugly things that I want nothing to do with.and I don't want to embrace the reflections from past times.From just looking I heard souls fall and shattered hard,leaves us shaking like a fish out of water.I'm so hurt because before I knew when to pick up the pieces and put things back together.Even after It hits without even knowing til after getting hit so hard.

    Feel like I was made to lead before I was ready to be a leader.Which with time complicates things a lot and keeps the mind full.Like a packed closet and if one more things goes in it will explode causing everything to be all over the place.Trying to keep in mind that the best is yet to come.But that's like seeing the sun shine and at the same time still walking through the rain.

    Keeping in mind to stay with and things will be OK.Instead of putting everyone/everything in a box and building walls 20 feet all around us.There are times that I don't even know where the strength comes from to deal with all of this.It's easy to give up the right for the wrong when things just hit us out of the blue.

    I asked this person if one does something do you just punish that one or the whole crew?--They said it all depends on the situation and the matter of the situation.Which I disagree and think it all depends on that person because they are the one that has to make the choice.They can just punish that person only because I don't like the theory of one bad apple spoils the whole bunch or the good has to suffer with the bad.

    Only if we could hit rewind and take it all back.But with life it comes with no remote or handbook.Again thanks-Be Breezy And Stay Easy!

    Catmagic replied to Nekethia's response:
    I don't think we have ever punished Tcos unless we were all guilty of the offense. Usually punishment is dolled out to the responsible party(ies).

    More often then not in the past (the way past before we were all coopertive and on the same page) some of us would come forward to be punished just cause well, they were used to taking it.

    Tcos has not always been a smooth flowing coopertive system. It was hard work to get us here. I have written a few "bedtime stories" for this board that touch on the DID aspect of my nature. let me go add one to this thred. If its helpful I will dig out the others and add them too.
    Catmagic replied to Catmagic's response:
  • ********** ************* ************** ************* ************ ********************** ************** ******************** *******
    maybe triggery I dunno ***********************************

    A story for the little ones

    Once upon a time there was a house with no doors.

    It had slippery red floors.

    and when the grown ups tried to walk down the hall

    they would go for a fall.

    the end.

    "Wait!" Cries Little Jacky, "that can't be the end of it!!"

    "Yeah, commom tell us a real story" chimes Little Paja.

    "yeah tell us a real one!" Laughs Ste.

    Okay dear ones, sit here near my feet. The children of starr settle into a heap and wait.

    "Once upon a time, " Dogdancing began....

    There was a girl who lived under the table.

    She never came out.

    No one ever went under with her.

    Heck no one knew she was there.

    She would watch the goings on in the house, but not say a word.

    Many people came and went and she knew them all by their shoes.

    Sometimes she would pinch their toes and try to get their attention. It never worked.

    Other times she would be napping and get woken by a kick, or worse a smelly ol' sock right in the nose!

    Sometimes she would cry. Wondering why no one was looking for her.

    She wanted a friend to play with. She was lonely.

    One sunny spring day, all the feet were under the table, and above she heard angry voices.

    It was "YOU DO THAT!", or "YOU DID THIS!" and "I HATE YOU" and "I DON'T LIKE YOU!"



    "HE CAN'T MAKE ME HEAL" and on and on.

    It hurt her ears.

    There was talk of so and so leaving and so and so taking charge and all sorts of nonsense.

    It hurt her heart.

    They are a family, she thought, they should work together to do what needs to be done.

    Swiftly and silently like a cat she laced all their shoes together.

    There came a loud KABAAAMMMMM!! as someone smacked the table over her head.

    Then one of the chairs slid back and toppled over as someone stood up quickly.


    The girl watched as the orange sneakered feet whirled and took flight.

    They didn't go far.

    With a zipping sound everyone was pulled from their chairs and leveled to the floor.

    Suddenly the girl under the table found herself starring into the suprized eyes of the faces who belonged to all those feet.
    They stared back at her in suprize.

    No one spoke.

    Her brown eyes bubbled like cola and she covered her mouth, "heehee"

    A few eyebrows disaproved of her laughing, but she didn't care.

    "Why dont you all just work together?" She asked.

    "We can't" said the orange sneaker girl leaning up to untangle her shoe laces. "there are too many of us."

    The table girl watched them unsuccessfully attempt to untie themselves.

    The more they worked the tanglier they got.

    At last they just got up and learned to walk and work together to get around and do things.

    Later that summer the tangled feet came back to the table. "will you tell us how to get out of this mess?"

    "heehee the girl smiled. "Just slip off your shoes."

    Their laughter shook her table. That night they set a place for her and she sat at the table with them.

    They were a family after that. And she was not lonely again.

    When they had troubles or problems or obsticals (as all families do) they would sit at the table and get everyones opinion on what they should do.

    And it was peaceful in the house.

    Nekethia replied to Catmagic's response:
    Thanks paja,

    You had us going on the first part and the girls thought it was great.That's a great story and Ty don't come out for anyone let alone a story.So thank you for settling things down for a while because we need that break.Ty is the little hell raiser and to get him to sit and listen is a big hurdle that was jumped.The girls are pretty much well behave usually they like to play with their doll house or baby doll.Coloring books or play dress up.So yes your story helped a great deal,you should have had you talk to him long ago.

    But there's another reason why I feel so miserable about things.I just think I let the most important person down within the crew.Sometimes I wish I wasn't here at times and for that I feel bad.On another note Courtney doesn't want me to speak about it here but she can on another board.Which I feel that here it should be let out but don't want any conflicts.

    We just started so we are far from being done.She's not giving into sharing things here and I don't get it.I'll give you more details when I get back in right now I have somewhere to be.

    Again thanks!
    Nekethia replied to Nekethia's response:
    [TRIGGER] .......................................TRIGGER.............................................



    I started burning last week but unclear of why that method of self harm.It's something new and I like the feeling I get from it.Right now I so many things and feelings going on till I just want to self destruct to there's no end.In time I'm going to try and tell you why the need to burn till there's nothing left of me.

    Last week Courtney notice that the little wasn't up yet and she usually is up every three or so hours.So she got up and notice that K looked a little flushed and was running a fever.Took her to the ER and she has been there since.The doctors say things kind of things just happen without any cause.She's been having trouble maintaining her oxygen level.

    She needed help in that department so she don't have to struggle so hard for air.But she 's been doing good and nothing else has happen so I'm holding onto hope.The nurses say that things are looking good.She is a fighter and know that she'll pull through this.We all are going to be OK and come out stronger because of this.I'm keeping my faith in GOD ever all he's the one that made us.

    There I think I'll let that simmer for a while.Take my mind from running so much and again thanks.
    slik_kitty replied to Nekethia's response:
    [TRIGGER] hugs to all. my prayers are with you.
    Nekethia replied to slik_kitty's response:
    [TRIGGER] Slik_kitty,

    I for one like hugs so thank you for them.And for your prayers it means a lot.We are tired so going to grab a glass of warm milk and a cozy fleece.Get into bed and not come out til morning,it's been a very long day for us.

    again thank you!

    WolfFaerie replied to Catmagic's response:
    Thank you for the story Paja! I need to remember this one so me and the little girl that hasn't grown up yet work together to become the healthy adult.
    Thank you from the both of us!!
    Peace~ Wolf and Little Wolf
    DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to WolfFaerie's response:
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.

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