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Safety (especially in numbers)
starrystarrynight310 posted:
It occurred to me just now we could all use a list of "safe" things to rely on when we're having anxiety attacks, crying spells, screaming inside, and hurting.

This is what helps me when I'm in need of safety:
my stuffed moose, Mandy
big, fluffy, soft blankets
relative alone-ness
the company of Savannah, my kitten

And interestingly enough, I thought... nothing works like a Daddy hug.

My Daddy has always been a safe person. He's safe to talk to, he's safe to hug, he's safe to give a kiss to on the cheek or forehead. I like to bury my nose against his shoulder and smell him. He smells like Aarid X-tra dry deodorant and detergent, and then there's just his essence -- the warmth of a kind person, the strength of his arms that will protect me, his firstborn, even though I'm 30 years old now. My brother scorns kisses from him but when I saw my Daddy at Christmas I asked "what about my kiss???" He explained about my brother but I told him that I will always want Daddy kisses. It's okay 'cause I'm a girl, but I don't care. Daddy's taller than me by about a head, so I can rest my head on his shoulder. When I do that in church, he touches his cheek to my head and "hugs" me. How lucky I am to have that kind of love. I don't always realize it. Tears run down my face as I type this. How I wish I could "share" my Daddy experience with all of you.

So, what are your safe things/people/experiences? What are things that you don't realize you have but when you think of them, you cry tears of love and joy, like I did for my Daddy? Everyone has these things... it's just a matter of finding them.

Love to all.
MarySings responded:
  • my pink blanket which is actually a twin bed sized blanket (which really took Dr.B by surprise when I brought it to therapy one time)
  • a beany-baby white lamb who isn't nearly as white as he used to be
  • sitting next to Albert, knowing he loves me
  • looking at all the pictures and videos on my computer of my grandchildren
  • listening to music
  • watching a few of my favorite tv channels/shows
Lately, I've been remembering the very beginning of my abuse by my parents. It hurtsa lot and there are days when I don't function very well. That's when these physical comforts are very necessary to me.
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes,I'm sometimes out of control but I love and give with all my heart. If you can't accept me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best.
WolfFaerie responded:
What I need to feel safe with list:

1. My tan teddy bear called Bear
2. Wraping up in one or two Wolf blankets
3. Nice cup of hot tea or coffee
4. Watching one of these favorite movies-
The Princess Bride
Ever After
Disney's Beauty and the Beast
5. Coloring in a coloring book or on a special page
6. Petting my fluffy dog named Gizmo
7. Getting hugs and loves from my family especially my kids.
8. Reading a book
9. Listening to music
10. Praying and writing in my journal

That's my list for now at least. Safe hugs if okay?
Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
This is a great discussion! I look forward to reading what others add to this.
ttsmile responded:
1. My girls and my husband. Knowing he would move the world for me if he could.
2. My music. Steven Curtis Chapman is best.
3. Praying and writing.
4. Tea in my special purple flowered chna tea cup.
5. A large blanket to wrap up in.
6. Any wishy-washy girly/teacher movie with a happy ending.
writejessss responded:
I appreciate you starting this thread. I've been giving this some thought for the past couple of days. I've haven't been able to think of anything that is always safe for me. Things that are safe in most situations, can anything but in others. I deal with this be having a large list of things that are safe for me in many/most cirucumstances. Then it is just a matter of being in-tune with myself so that I know what I need at a given time.
  • A soft blank to wrap myself in
  • A funny movie
  • The outdoors
  • Coloring with crayons
  • Bubbles or bubble gum (happy memories of childhood)
  • Talking with me T.
  • Etc.

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