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publishing a book of sorrow changed to healing?
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marysings posted:
My sister got on my nerves this morning when she started to push me to destroy my journals. I have giant 3inch ring notebooks - six of them - holding more than 7 reams of paper.

I worked hard on those journals. I poured out my heart and soul in all of that writing. I think I stopped adding to them a few years ago but I know all too well what the past three years have been like, so I could add to them if I wanted to.

Albert and I have often wondered about using the journals to write my story. I think my story will have to end when I am no longer working on trauma. This is where I am today and Albert is very concerned that if I got those journals out and began to review them that I will regress very quickly. Neither of us want that.

Mary

PS - Right now I'm reading a book on codependency and then I have to go through the workbook. What an eye-opening experience. I see me everywhere in the book and have the book filled with highlighting. Dr.Brady says this book and the workbook will help me change some lifetime thoughts, actions, and feelings. I am anxious to get to the end!
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
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DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
Tell your sister to go jump in the lake. I bet you the reason she wants them destroyed is to conceal the evidence...knowing they exist frightens her cause she has yet to accept the truth.

There is nothing more powerful you can pass on others then your thoughts. Even the bad ones. You are real on paper and not guarded. You are powerful on paper.

So what if no one ever reads it. It does no harm sitting on the shelf backing you. I have gone back numerous times in my life and re-read or skim read my journal. Each time its an awakening, to a deeper understanding of myself.

I didn't journal forever either, when I was healed enough the journals just stop, no fan fair or concussion, just blank pages.

So next time she bring up the subject ask her: "why do you want me to do that sis? destroying the evidence doesn't change what happened."
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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marysings replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
Thanks, Paja. I can well imagine that is exactly what she is thinking. She and my brother believe me now but I have no doubt there are moments when they also think I am so mentally unbalanced that "I" believe anything I think of. There are even days I try to forget and end up a bawling mess on the floor. My word - how in the world will I be able to express all the sorrow I have been through?

She actually is key to my healing because she moved home and became my mother's keeper. It wasn't long before she understood my anguish being told what to do all the time. It took her much longer to accept the abuse and even now I'm not sure she 'gets it'.

This project is do-able. I'm going to begin searching for a publisher so that I can understand how to do this. Will they help me? I sure hope so.

Mary
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
 
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DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to marysings's response:
Search no further..... http://www.lulu.com/publish/books/

I will help in any way I can...except spell checking LOL.

Go for it Mary. Writing my books gave me great focus. I hope it does the same for you.
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
Also writers now have the option of self publishing straight to the e-book formats! People pay you to down load your book.

As far as starting to organize it...first thing should be to find a frame work for it or the style you wish to present it in.

For example: one chapter in the past next chapter in the present dealing with the fall out of the past switchback and forth till the story is told. Or form past to present. etc.

For me when I start a new book I do two things...one give it a working tittle and I write the end of it. lol. that way I know where its going and keeps me motivated and focused.

I would suggest when you are ready to sit with the books and skim through them. I will bet you will discover your book is already written, you just need to pick it out of your journals.
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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marysings replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
I really appreciate your comments, Paja. Albert and I talked about me writing an "E"book. He is concerned that there are many people in town who don't have a clue what my problems have been and do they need to know. I want my name as the author but he is not so sure.

I like the idea of "one chapter in the past next chapter in the present dealing with the fall out of the past switchback and forth till the story is told."

I am going to talk with Dr.B and get his opinion about all of this, including the concern Albert has about me regressing. If he think this is a good thing for me to do, then I will ask him to write the forward. I know he will want to be paid for that - do you have any idea what it should cost me?

I just mentioned this to my sister and she said how can I write a book of my journey if I can't forgive my mother. I told her that was between me and God. I am at peace with my decision and that's that. I told her that I didn't want to talk about this again and she said ok.

And of course, I am not going to do anything until I get my computer up and running again.
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
 
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melisfit replied to marysings's response:
Mary,
WOW! Good for you. I'm sure their are tons of people who would benefit from hearing about your journey. Good luck with the writing. Wishing you all the best. mellie


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