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tired - trigger
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DOGDANCING_TCOS posted:
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    in physical therapy for the arm injury from the car accident. its going to trigger me. ALmost got me friday, had to focus hard to keep the body memories form over wheming us.

    drugged tonight

    pain really bad

    arm hurting

    want this over. want everything over and my life returned to me. i am tired of all this. its very triggering havin to make phone calls to people I dont know and this feeling of impending doom is on the table

    there is no lock on teh attic door?

    we are often gone and lost.

    Boots
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
  • Reply
     
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    slik_kitty responded:
    hugs
     
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    marysings responded:
    Explain your increase in pain to your doctor. Maybe physical therapy is too much right now.

    You're in my thoughts everyday.

    Hugs,
    Mary
    I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
     
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    DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
  • *********************************** *********************** ************ ********************************** ********************


    Thank you ladies for responding to Boots (and Ste, I see him in there too)

    Nice to know my kids can come here and be treated with kindness.
    hmmmm. Things got so bad pain wise that I took the max dose of what I had available. Looks like it kinda snowed my system.

    Boots talked for a long time before falling asleep last night. I see she also was here before making it to bed.

    the treatment for my arm was bungled prior to PT. Makes me angry. I need my hands to work. That is all I have left to support myself/family with.

    Do you have any idea just HOW terrifying that is?

    I am a writer/illustrator. It hurts to type/draw.

    this is my right arm we are talking about.

    I am so angry and mad.

    Its so much like being raped its not funny.

    that car/woman comes in and hurts me and leaves.

    and I am left with the damage/pain.

    I have yet to be paid for the truck damage. I think once that happens I will feel less like a helpless victim.

    until then someone else has my power and I am a victim that has to just take the pain and after mass and be helpless.

    AND I HATE THAT.

    I HATE BEING CONTROLLED MY SOMEONE ELSE.

    I HATE BEING PLACED AND HELD IN VICTIM-MODE.

    It is too much like being a child again and back in that sickning place of NO POWER.

    (cry)

    the only angle to hold my arm where it doesn't ache is the same angle that my brother used to twist in to so he could stuff it down his pants.

    yeah. I am ready for this to be all over.

    Its EXTREMELY TRIGGERING.

    Having to fight the driver insurance company is hard to do in this mental frame of mind. SHE RAN THE RED LIGHT - SHE WAS TICKETED. THERE WERE TONS OF WITNESSES.

    It should be a no-brainer.

    I feel like I am 5 and I am trying to tell my parents I am being raped and they want me to prove it.

    ****************************************************************
    SIV TRIGGER BELOW
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    this is making me want to bleed so I can prove the pain.

    Tcos
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
  •  
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    slik_kitty replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
    are you doing all the dealing with the insurance company and such? can your hubby take over some of that to help you out?
     
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    DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to slik_kitty's response:
    FINALLY got the other peeps insurance to call me back and get the ball rolling to fix my truck! I feel better now. Man I hate wars of will. My will is gettign old and wears out easily.

    now if my arm would just heal...
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
     
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    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
    I'm glad you made some progress with the insurance. I hope the next news we hear is that your arm is starting to feel better.
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    ~Christopher Robin to Pooh


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