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marysings posted:
In the past couple of days I have felt myself sliding into another depressive episode. Today seems particularly sad. Not enough for tears but enough to erase my smile.

I wish I could figure it out. Oh, the curse of being Borderline.

I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Sometimes it just is. Honor the feelings and take steps to take care of yourself and be sure you have a plan in place (who to call) if it spirals down further. (((hugs)))
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
melisfit responded:
Mary please find your smile again. I don't want you to struggle anymore. You deserve to be happy. ((hugs)) mellie
An_246115 responded:
Hi Mary! Sorry you have been feeling kind of down & blue. Seems like no matter how well some of us have been coping, something comes along sometimes & takes us down. Mood swings are very common, and they can be hard to cope with, but always remember that they won't last forever. Today is only one day, tomorrow you may wake up feeling completely different. Try to keep yourself active physically & mentally because all of those good chemicals in your brain really help a lot with bringing you back to normal & making you feel better. Sometimes it's things like lack of the proper amount of sleep, hormonal changes, foods we eat (or the proper foods we DON'T eat), family situations, lack of good friends to talk to, etc. that bring us down. It's only a temporary thing, and you have to keep working at it each & every day by telling yourself "today isn't a good day, but tomorrow is a new day, & it will be different & better" I feel sooooooooooo misunderstood at times by family, co-workers, friends, etc. They have NO idea what goes on inside of our heads when we have to learn to deal with the types of things that we have had happen to us each & every day. Sometimes it may be all you can do to wake up & put both feet on the floor and get out of bed. It's all a decision & a choice we have to make every day to "keep on keeping on" with our lives. I didn't even fully understand what happened to me as a child because I blocked out soooooo many different aspects of it all until I turned 50. Then, all of a sudden, it was like "let the flood (of horrible memories) begin!!!" Talk about a nightmare! At the moment, something stirred things up again, & I am back to having some difficulty sleeping. It has happened before, and I am sure that it will happen again, but I can't wait for the gray skies & the rain to pass over me. Hard to do things without the proper amount of sleep, but I can't afford to let it get me down & keep me there. I have worked too hard over the past 3 years, & know that sometimes the steps forward somehow lead to a step or two in the wrong direction sometimes (maybe something that happens/reminds you of things/something a family member says, etc.) Keep on climbing upward to reach your goal of being at peace on the inside, & don't worry about what everyone else says & thinks. Do it at your own pace. There are people out there just like yourself who love & care about all of the other "survivors" (NEVER refer to yourself as a "victim") You are strong, & you HAVE survived, and you will eventually get to the point where you feel better about yourself again. It takes time, work, & energy, but it is definitely worth it, no matter what it takes.

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