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trigger - physical therapy - D.I.D
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DOGDANCING_TCOS posted:
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    Just rambling, no reply needed.

    Physical therapist triggered me yesterday. Did a technique where he wrapped a belt around his butt and around my arm so he could apply two different types of pressure/pull to my arm with his hands and the belt.

    needless to say being cinched up brought Ste right to the surface. The closer he put my arm to his crotch the more of me came flooding up.

    It took EVERYTHING I had in my bag of staying present and in control to stay on the table.

    Extremely triggered.

    Was surprised by the fact that my children didn't surface to panic and run, they surfaced to help me fight the panic.

    It wasn't every man for himself, it was a one for all, all for one kind of thing.

    In the past when this has happened we usually do a spontaneous integration. This time everyone maintained there individualness. The strength coming from the locking of arms around Ste to support him. Not shielding him from the flashbacks - but rather standing with him.

    We held it together.

    As things are slowly resolving with the car accident stuff, I am feeling better as my power is returned to me. Mentally at least.

    July 10th is next day off from everything...I am looking forward to finally having some down time. This 24/7 life (deleted) is overwhelming and exhausting.
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
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    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    It's good to hear that your strength is returning. And I'm thinkin' July 10th can't come soon enough!
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
     
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    DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    Was reminded last night that I am on call for the entire week of July 9-13, sigh....lol so my next real official-don't-have-to-do-nutin' day is July 16th.

    for a reclusive person this 24/7 social stuff is just kicking my butt. I came home from the second wedding's bridal shower last night and crashed, I took pain pill and muscle relaxer and was in bed the second after I tucked my daughter in at 9:00.

    Its nice to be needed, but man!! lol
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
     
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    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
    I understand.... it can be wearing as great as it is. We all need our alone time, I think. Or a time where we don't have to be 'on'.
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    ~Christopher Robin to Pooh


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