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OT - I need to vent and welcome advice
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marysings posted:
My older son has 3 kids. K is 11 1/2 and sweet but doesn't have good follow-through.

E is going to be nine in a few weeks. She is a whiner. She can't decide if she is going to be 9 or 4. It's hard for her to stay focused. She is somewhat a trouble-maker but I can keep her and K in check.

Problem child is a boy, N. He will be 8 in November. He has a potty mouth - everything he says results in reference to body function. And he purposely burps during all meals. The other day he was told to put away the foam bow and arrow. He planted the thing between his legs and with body movements he pretended he had a very long penis.

Their parents are at a camp for a week. I have had the kids since Saturday morning and they go to their other grandparents on Tuesday. I don't want to bother them but I don't know what else to do. I mentioned to my son that this happened the last time they were here and my son just said N is all right, he's all boy. Another reason for not letting the parents know we are having problems.
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
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An_241965 responded:
What i would do for the boy, i would explain to him that its disrespectfull for him to act like that, and if he continues he will be punished. Send him to the room for 10-15 mins to sit on the bed, or get the other kids treats for being good and if he acted badly dont reward him, while i agree boys will be boys he shouldnt be like that. And if it gets worse i would tell your son untill the behavior's stop you wont be watching N anymore.
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Just my two cents, and I'm not an expert, just the mom of two sons and the grandmother of three kids....

Just from what you've shared here, he doesn't seem to be a 'problem child' but pretty common for a boy of that age. He probably enjoys shocking you too.

That doesn't mean you should put up with it. Your house, your rules. You are allowed to expect respect.

I wouldn't worry about saying anything to the other grandparents; if they've been around them before, they probably already know.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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marysings replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
I sat and talked with N this afternoon after one more time out. I asked him why he used bad words and he said sometimes his brain just gets all messed up. I asked him why he would have screaming fits and try to hit others and he said he just couldn't think very well anymore. He said it was a war in his brain and it never got quiet.

My last question was what could we do to help him. He said he just wanted someone to find out what is wrong with his brain.

After we talked, I gave him paper and asked him to write down the answers to our conversation. I asked the same questions and he wrote the same answers. He finished and I asked if he was afraid and he said he would be afraid if I mailed that to his parents on their vacation. I told him I wasn't going to mail it but I might talk to them and then I reassured N that he was not going to get into trouble.

About an hour later I had to swat his behind when he went into a screaming fit, made a tight fist, and lunged for his older sister. He missed her face by inches.

After supper we went to the local carnival. It's a nice group that comes every year. First ride was over and the operator told Albert that N will not be allowed on his ride anymore. It was a long evening in the city park.

I've cried a lot today.
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to marysings's response:
What a good grandmother you are, Mary. It sounds like he could use some help and you're on your way to ensuring that happens.

Be kind to yourself today and enjoy the relative quiet.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh


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