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may trigger - my rant July 12
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marysings posted:
[TRIGGER] may trigger ==================================================================================================================================



So I thought I had passed all the pain of my memories and yet for the past several weeks I have had a lot of body memories. Dr.B told me that I am probably having another memory trying to surface. yuk

My suicidal thinking is very high. I think I have found a place on the interstate where I could simply drive off into an abyss but there is too much traffic. Dr.B said that was good and I told him no, it is not good.

I told Dr.B I am ready to go to every other week and he looked at me with shock. He said with your suicidal rate so high, you expect me to let you go? He asked, "what do I do with your suicide desire?" So I am going back to see him weekly.

The thing is, I am not sure what he can do to help me. Inpatient? No way. I'll do IT someday.

There was an internet article about how certain meds can give you a lot fatigue. I take several of them. Now I won't complain anymore about not having any energy.
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
One day you will be ready to ease back on the therapy, but it's okay to stick with the weekly routine for now, Mary, and as long as you need it.

Remind yourself to breathe and keep talking to keep yourself safe.

I take meds that add to my already considerable fatigue too; not fun but I work around it. Complain about it any time you need to.

((((softhugs))))

And if you ever do need help keeping yourself safe and you can't get in touch with Albert or Dr. B, please call a crisis line and let them help you.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh


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