Our therapist has been making our homework assignments increasingly more risque. And the more risque the assignment the harder it is for Nathan to stop when I want to. We had agreed that I'd try to be ready by the time we go on vacation next month, but now he keeps saying that we really don't need to wait until then and that I'll enjoy our vacation so much more if I'm not all worried about the sex stuff. I know he has a point and I do realize just how patient he's been, but the more he pushes me the more frightened I become. I don't want to feel afraid of him, but he's starting to scare me. It's such a struggle for him to stop when I say so now, I'm becoming afraid that one time he won't be able to stop.
Mellie, let me tell you something: as women, we're brought up to believe certain things. One of the things we're brought up to believe is that men have "needs." They may, I am not a man so I can't say that, but I can say this:
ANY MAN WILL BE ABLE TO STOP AT ANY POINT YOU SAY SO.
It's not that they "can't" -- it's that they won't. If you say "stop" at any point, they are responsible for doing so. We are responsible for our own actions, even our sexual ones -- especially our sexual ones -- and I think that if Nathan is the man I think he is, he will stop. For you, for him, for the marriage. Because he cares. Never believe that they "can't stop." Never. Never.
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