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    Newbie to group....searching ****Possible Trigger?****
    tnmist posted:
    First of all, hello to this group and thank you for being here. I've been struggling to function recently and decided to try this form of support. I am middle-aged and have struggled with depression-type issues what seems like all my life; however, at the end of last year I thought I must be going crazy when I started getting flashbacks and intrusive images, messages, etc. into a childhood I didn't even know existed. I am connected with an excellent therapist and have a small circle of friends who are supportive, but at 1 a.m. this avenue seems like a better choice for reaching out.

    On one hand, these terrible FBs have been a blessing because it explains so much of why I am the way I am. On the other hand, obviously, they have rocked my world and I sometimes find myself wondering if I can even survive all this without it overwhelming me or driving me into a depression I cannot overcome. Tonight is one of those nights where I am restless, sad, and so very tired of this stuff, and I find myself wondering if I am just crazy after all...Maybe none of this is real.

    I could have chosen a depression community or a weight loss community, to name a couple, but I chose this community because this subject is the root of those other problems.

    I have read a few other threads on here so far, and I, too, certainly relate to wanting to retreat from everyone and everything. Tonight is one of those nights.

    I will keep this fairly brief. Thank you for "listening" to me.
    melisfit responded:
    Welcome TNmist. I'm so sorry that your going through this. Everyone in this community is very nice and always willing to "listen" and even offer some great advice. I'm glad that you have supportive friends, but I know for me its often easier to share my fear and frustration on here instead of burdening those I love. I sincerely wish that you didn't need to be here, but am glad you found this sight. Please take care of yourself. mellie
    slik_kitty responded:
    welcome to the board. we have a nice group of people. we have each other to lean on and it makes dealing with this a little easier.
    tnmist replied to slik_kitty's response:
    @ Melisfit and slik_kitty:Thank you. I don't really have any words tonight...Just appreciate that you both responded.
    marysings replied to tnmist's response:
    I'm glad you found the community that will be most comfort for you. Never be ashamed of sharing but also remember that no one will ever ask you to share. That is your choice.

    TNmist, it's good to welcome you to this site.

    All the best,
    I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
    healingmychild responded:
    Hello want to welcome you here to this community its a very special group everyone in this site is very careful and respect one anothers words. Its not easy at first to come out and say it all. Everyone is in different levels but we all know too well the feelings that we have gone thru from the circumstances that we have experience. I would like to tell you that you are not alone we here support each other. This is the place to speak very clearly about what we feel and what we are going thru. I have found support from many people in this site and it has made a difference. Welcome here again.
    ~I am entitled to my own truth.~
    There's more than anger,more than sadness,more than terror.There's Hope ~Edith Horning
    tnmist replied to marysings's response:
    Thank you, Mary. I read your story and am very moved by it. I don't know if I would ever feel comfortable revealing more than I have. I have alluded to things in my story, but the flashbacks are so awful. It's hard enough just trying to process them with my therapist.

    My therapist did offer to help me get a "partial medical leave" in which I could clock out early or change my hours when needed, etc. (I work from home, but full time), but I felt strongly impressed not to pursue that route because I'm afraid they would find some legal way to let me go at some point. So, I'm just trying to ride out the storms. And it already is easier than it was a few months ago when the flashbacks were coming so frequently. I don't have them all the time now. And I know I am so blessed to be able to work from home. (Oh, I could never handle an office environment these days.)

    I sure appreciate you sharing your story...I appreciate anyone here sharing her or his story. It helps me to know others are surviving, too, even though, I, too, am sorry that anyone needs this community.

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