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The new "normal"
tnmist posted:
Can't focus, can't seem to get anything done anymore, everything is so difficult. Just want to sleep for, oh, I don't know, a month straight? My family just chalks up my poor housekeeping and yard maintenance to laziness, and a friend is already wondering when the flashbacks will be "over." Over? Gee, didn't realize I was on a schedule here.

Wishing I had a place to go scream or something. Did some plate-smashing not too long ago at my name-changing party with a very small group of friends with their own stories, but don't have that space anymore. That's right. Been wanting to change my name for many years now and finally did it. First and last name. Still working on trying to update everyone under the sun, but it's still worth it.

Feeling frustrated and oh-so restless.
Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
I remember when I was in the depths of all this... it IS exhausting and takes so much energy. It does eventually ease up as you work through the issues. In the meantime, do as much as you can to be kind to yourself. And keep talking here as much as you need to.

Cool about the name change.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
healingmychild responded:
Be patient with yourself it can get very overwhelmed and frustrated. Aloud yourself to feel your feelings and take it slow the process is not in a schedule for sure. Take care
~I am entitled to my own truth.~
There's more than anger,more than sadness,more than terror.There's Hope ~Edith Horning
tnmist responded:
I appreciate the reassurances. Just overwhelmed with the "info" the flashbacks are providing.

As for the name change, I never liked my first name but held off making a legal change for over a decade due to some family members being upset, but after the flashbacks started I decided it was time because I definitey didn't want to be associated with my father anymore and so changed both first and last names. I decided my family can react however they wish. Sigh. Tired of being a puppet and worrying about how everyone is going to respond to anything I do. Through the help of some friends and my therapist, I also realized I didn't HAVE to explain my actions. What a concept.

This is all so overwhelming, but it is also bringing a lot of revelations. I'm middle-aged, and I am slowly realizing it's okay to have my own opinion about..well...anything.

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