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Accomplishing nothing
tnmist posted:
I'm behind on so many things inside the house and outside in the yards, too. I took a long weekend and had Thursday through Sunday off (I normally work on Sunday), and I had plans to get things done today, but it turned into another one of those days where nothing got done. I wasn't expected anywhere, and I just did nothing. To be fair, I did get some things accomplished on Thursday and I did go out of town for a day on Friday.

I feel like my entire life is such a disaster, my health, my finances, my emotional state, just everything. My tears are a bottomless pit, but I just had to take a break from counseling. I don't see him again for 3 weeks. I just want to shove everything back into Pandora's box and nail the lid shut. I am overwhelmed and depressed, and I just feel like there is no one around me who can understand that.

I want to withdraw and at the same time I need contact with friends, too. I just feel crazy.

marysings responded:
Hi Misty. I think I know how you are feeling - that doing nothing means you are a failure. That's not true, of course. Sometimes we simply need a day of doing nothing.

Would it help for you to make a daily list of just one project to take care of after work? Only one thing a day!

Like you, I wish the pandora's box had never opened. I'm in year #9 of my breakdown and severe depression, anxiety and PTSD. I never ever pictured my life turning out like this.

And I also understand needing a friend but not really reaching out for someone. I'm afraid I can't give you much advice in that area.

All the best to you,
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
tnmist replied to marysings's response:
Thank you Mary. Today took me a little by surprise because I finally had a good night's sleep Friday night at my friend's house out of town and enjoyed hanging out with her Saturday before returning home. I wasn't halfway home before the tears started again, and by Sunday morning I was too overwhelmed to do anything - once again.

I like your idea of one thing a day. I will try that. It doesn't help that most things take energy, and most of the time I have zero energy.

I feel another day is wasted, but that's the story of my existence too - it's just a waste.
healingmychild replied to tnmist's response:
I know all to well that feeling too. I myself sometimes feel that I cant get motivated to get things done around my house. I feel like there is no purpose. Yes I have years dealing with the pandora box open dealing with all inside. And sometimes I have found that its good to close it temporary to take a break from all. Then if it comes back I can deal with it and find positive ways to deal with it. You are not alone we can talk here. Its very hard to go out and make new friends its more easy said then done. Take care
~I am entitled to my own truth.~
There's more than anger,more than sadness,more than terror.There's Hope ~Edith Horning
tnmist replied to healingmychild's response:
Thank you, Healing. All I seem to be able to do is sleep or cry...or have bad dreams. I do manage to get through work, and for that I am very grateful.

Oh, and eat - unfortunately. I'm growing out of all my clothes! I refuse to buy new clothes because I just have to get a handle on this weight issue. I'm at my highest ever, and that is not good. It really isn't. It's harder to do anything and I feel like a tub of lard walking around - yet another reason to hide out.

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