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    Possible trigger- Sorry
    az330 posted:
    [TRIGGER] I have been working thru a memory. Lately I have been faced with memories of my mother. She did some really bad things to me. She was no better than my father. In ways she hurt me more than my father.
    She tortured me. She held me down and let him rape me, she inserted things into me, When I wouldn't cry she would use electricity on me. She is truly an evil person. I am disgusted by it all. For years the scars on my body I thought were something different. I have had these thoughts I thought were not real. I am in so much pain. Emotionally I cannot function very well...
    I havent slept in days. Its hard to have an appetite.
    I am very frustrated and angry

    tnmist responded:
    {{Soft, safe hugs sent your way.}} I just have no words. I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much. I hope you get some sleep soon. Lack of sleep always makes everything worse.

    slik_kitty responded:
    distraction, distraction, distraction. it works wonders. find something to focus on that you can give your full brain's attention. then there is no room to think about the bad things. hugs
    az330 responded:
    Yes distraction is the key. I have been distracting myself all weekend. Today I feel...hmmm I think the best way to describe it as being emotionally beat up. I have tried to sleep when I can, I started to do a jigsaw puzzle just to keep my mind off of things. It worked for a bit.
    Today I see the pdoc. I am a little apprehensive about going. We will see what happens... I do appreciate the encouragement and advice.

    Thank You
    YanPan responded:
    I'm sorry.

    I agree about distracting yourself.

    I've heard of something that may help. When you are having a painful memory or flashback, immediately do something nice for yourself. Like, take yourself to a movie or to your favorite restaurant or just do something that makes you happy at that very moment. I have a hard time remembering to do this myself, so I don't know how well it works, but I've been told that it does in fact work.

    Sometimes I just cry because I need the release. I also go to the gym and I vent - a lot. By the end of it all, I just pass out from exhaustion.

    I hope you can get a good nights sleep soon!
    bluerose90 responded:
    I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this AZ.

    I agree with what the others have said. Keeping yourself distracted helps a lot, especially if it's something that you enjoy. Losing myself in a movie, book, or one of my hobbies has helped me distract myself on my bad days. Please take care of yourself, and I know it's easier said than done but try to get some sleep.

    ((gentle hugs))

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