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Forgive and forget? I offer my perspective
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tnmist posted:
I have been reading lately on a couple of our boards how some folks struggle with being Christian and "needing" to forgive and forget. I offer this perspective for you: There is a verse which tells me that it would be better for someone to have a big stone placed around his/her neck and be drowned in the sea than to hurt a child. There are other verses that tell me God is the ultimate judge and will ultimately serve justice at some point down the road. To me, forgiving someone simply releases the urge for vengence on my part and allows me to move forward in life because God has my back, and He will take care of any justice issues in the end.

As for "forgetting," I don't believe we are meant to forget that someone (or many!) are not safe to be around and/or are not safe to have our children be alone with, etc. For example, say someone who stole from you in the past now moves in next door to you. He or she asks for forgiveness of his or her past deeds and claims to be a changed person. You may forgive their past, but a wise person will still have locks on their doors and some sort of security system in place, at least until this person's current actions and lifestyle make it clear to you that he or she has, indeed, changed and is no longer a thief.

Forgetting doesn't mean that we are supposed to be vulnerable to more harm in our lives. If someone comes to me and asks for forgiveness about harming me in the past, that doesn't mean our relationship is instantly repaired. If someone is truly sorry for their actions, I will know by their actions moving forward.

Ultimately, at the end of time, God will only save those who are safe to save in his kingdom. That means, in heaven (and in the New Earth eventually), ALL my neighbors will be perfectly safe (not to mention that I will be safe to live around, too), and no locks will be needed. Hurray.

I hope that helps in some way. I don't want to turn this into any sort of spiritual debate or anything; I'm just offering my perspective.

Peace of heart to you,

-Misty
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wallflower responded:
well said


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