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A second one! ****TRIGGER****
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TNmist posted:
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    For an entire year last year, I was getting flashbacks about childhood sexual abuse all at the hands of the father. I didn't know any of that existed in my childhood. I've been devastated for a whole year and have finally decided to believe what my mind is telling me. I really, really need 2013 to be better than last year. I could hardly function for a lot of the year.

    Now for the past couple of weeks I haven't been doing that great emotionally. Then this morning, wham-o! Two FBs in a row about being sodomized by an older teen in my school when I was a kid, in 2 different locations, so I know it happened at least twice. Seriously???? Another perp??!

    And now I wonder if there were others somehow! How much has my mind concealed from me??

    I have been struggling all day to stay present and do my job, but I really just want to go disappear for awhile. I don't even know where I go in my head. I'm just gone.

    I just can't take another year like last year. :*(

    -Misty
    • 8 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:A second one! ****TRIGGER****<li>***************************************************************<br />***********************************************************<br />*********************************************************<br /> <br />(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((@@@@@@@@@@@@@@<br /> <br />****************************************************************************<br />***************************************************************************<br />*****<br />***************************************************************************<br /> <br /> <br />For an entire year last year, I was getting flashbacks about childhood sexual abuse all at the hands of the father. I didn't know any of that existed in my childhood. I've been devastated for a whole year and have finally decided to believe what my mind is telling me. I really, really need 2013 to be better than last year. I could hardly function for a lot of the year. <br /> <br />Now for the past couple of weeks I haven't been doing that great emotionally. Then this morning, wham-o! Two FBs in a row about being sodomized by an older teen in my school when I was a kid, in 2 different locations, so I know it happened at least twice. Seriously???? Another perp??! <br /> <br />And now I wonder if there were others somehow! How much has my mind concealed from me?? <br /> <br />I have been struggling all day to stay present and do my job, but I really just want to go disappear for awhile. I don't even know where I go in my head. I'm just gone. <br /> <br />I just can't take another year like last year. :*(<br /> <br />-Misty
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    DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
    your mind will start burping up stuff when you are ready to deal with it.

    Your mind will burp up stuff when its tired of holding the secreats

    your mind will burp up stuff when its time.

    Don't take it as an attack on yourself, embrace it as your mind is ready to heal.

    Will do a respost of something that might help in a second.

    (as well as a personal update)
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
    Report This| Share this:A second one! ****TRIGGER****your mind will start burping up stuff when you are ready to deal with it. <br /><br />Your mind will burp up stuff when its tired of holding the secreats<br /><br />your mind will burp up stuff when its time.<br /><br />Don't take it as an attack on yourself, embrace it as your mind is ready to heal. <br /><br />Will do a respost of something that might help in a second.<br /><br />(as well as a personal update)
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    BlueRose90 responded:
    I'm so sorry Misty. When the flashbacks of memories long forgotten come back it turns your world upside down. I'm so sorry that you have more to deal with now. Being abused by more than one person is horrible and having the memories of it come back like that... I know your head must be spinning. Believe me I know how you feel in that. I was abused as a child by an older kid. I repressed those memories and then when it started to happen again, being sexually abused by a different person more than ten years later, I was hit by memories of the sexual abuse from my childhood as well.

    I wish that I was better with words, that I was able to say something to make things easier for you, something to help. I'm still working on finding things that help me when I have flashbacks. Since I don't have access to a lot of the things I used to do to cope right now I've been struggling myself. I'm here to listen if you need to vent. RAINN's website has some different sugguestions you can try for when you're having a flashback that can help. I usually end up sticking my head in the freezer or under cold water to try and get myself out of them right now. (Yeah, I know that sounds really weird.)

    Please take care of yourself. Try to do something that makes you feel safe and helps you to relax. Get yourself a treat. Anything to take your mind off things.

    Rose
    Report This| Share this:A second one! ****TRIGGER****I'm so sorry Misty. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/frown.gif" align="top" border="0"> When the flashbacks of memories long forgotten come back it turns your world upside down. I'm so sorry that you have more to deal with now. Being abused by more than one person is horrible and having the memories of it come back like that... I know your head must be spinning. Believe me I know how you feel in that. I was abused as a child by an older kid. I repressed those memories and then when it started to happen again, being sexually abused by a different person more than ten years later, I was hit by memories of the sexual abuse from my childhood as well. <br /><br />I wish that I was better with words, that I was able to say something to make things easier for you, something to help. I'm still working on finding things that help me when I have flashbacks. Since I don't have access to a lot of the things I used to do to cope right now I've been struggling myself. I'm here to listen if you need to vent. RAINN's website has some different sugguestions you can try for when you're having a flashback that can help. I usually end up sticking my head in the freezer or under cold water to try and get myself out of them right now. (Yeah, I know that sounds really weird.) <br /><br />Please take care of yourself. Try to do something that makes you feel safe and helps you to relax. Get yourself a treat. Anything to take your mind off things. <br /><br />Rose
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    TNmist replied to BlueRose90's response:
    Thank you, Rose. "Just" replying is a big help. Knowing someone is listening. I understand feeling like I can't say anything helpful because I struggle, too, but the truth is, having folks reply however they want to really is helpful.

    Thank you both for being around tonight. I will probably do more reading/responding later. Signing off for now.

    -Misty
    Report This| Share this:A second one! ****TRIGGER****Thank you, Rose. "Just" replying is a big help. Knowing someone is listening. I understand feeling like I can't say anything helpful because I struggle, too, but the truth is, having folks reply however they want to really is helpful. <br /> <br />Thank you both for being around tonight. I will probably do more reading/responding later. Signing off for now.<br /> <br />-Misty
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    AZ330 responded:
    I understand you completely....that has been my past year as well. Alot of things have come out that is hard to wrap your head around. Hang in there...Right now I cannot offer much just know that I am listening. Just know that sometimes I cannot respond right away I am still trying to take care of myself but I am lurking....

    AZ
    Report This| Share this:A second one! ****TRIGGER****I understand you completely....that has been my past year as well. Alot of things have come out that is hard to wrap your head around. Hang in there...Right now I cannot offer much just know that I am listening. Just know that sometimes I cannot respond right away I am still trying to take care of myself but I am lurking....<br /> <br />AZ
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    TNmist replied to AZ330's response:
    Thank you everyone. I'm so sorry to hear of similar events in your lives as well. Truly I am. Even when we are hurting we offer comfort to one another here, which is why I love this board and the friendships formed.

    Pink blankets anyone?? Just love that.

    -Misty
    Report This| Share this:A second one! ****TRIGGER****Thank you everyone. I'm so sorry to hear of similar events in your lives as well. Truly I am. Even when we are hurting we offer comfort to one another here, which is why I love this board and the friendships formed. <br /> <br />Pink blankets anyone?? Just love that. <br /> <br />-Misty
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    BlueRose90 replied to TNmist's response:
    Do you think I could get a Blue blanket? Lol.

    Rose
    Report This| Share this:A second one! ****TRIGGER****Do you think I could get a Blue blanket? <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/pbpt.gif" align="top" border="0"> Lol. <br /><br />Rose
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    TNmist replied to BlueRose90's response:
    Thanks for making me smile, Rose! If we are choosing colors, I would like lavender. I assume we may choose whatever blanket works the best! What I liked were the ways in which the blanket is used - no matter what the color.
    Report This| Share this:A second one! ****TRIGGER****Thanks for making me smile, Rose! If we are choosing colors, I would like lavender. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0"> I assume we may choose whatever blanket works the best! What I liked were the ways in which the blanket is used - no matter what the color.
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    BlueRose90 replied to TNmist's response:
    Yeah, I really liked how DD put it. Besides you can never beat having a fluffy blanket to cuddle up in! I must say though that I was thinking of wearing it like a cape myself. Lol. As soon as I read that I was picturing myself as a kid running around the house with a towel on my back as a cape with my siblings chasing me and laughing. It made me laugh.

    Rose

    (Is maybe just a little goofy today... )
    Report This| Share this:A second one! ****TRIGGER****Yeah, I really liked how DD put it. Besides you can never beat having a fluffy blanket to cuddle up in! I must say though that I was thinking of wearing it like a cape myself. Lol. As soon as I read that I was picturing myself as a kid running around the house with a towel on my back as a cape with my siblings chasing me and laughing. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0"> It made me laugh. <br /><br />Rose<br /><br />(Is maybe just a little goofy today... <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/pbpt.gif" align="top" border="0">)
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