For an entire year last year, I was getting flashbacks about childhood sexual abuse all at the hands of the father. I didn't know any of that existed in my childhood. I've been devastated for a whole year and have finally decided to believe what my mind is telling me. I really, really need 2013 to be better than last year. I could hardly function for a lot of the year.
Now for the past couple of weeks I haven't been doing that great emotionally. Then this morning, wham-o! Two FBs in a row about being sodomized by an older teen in my school when I was a kid, in 2 different locations, so I know it happened at least twice. Seriously???? Another perp??!
And now I wonder if there were others somehow! How much has my mind concealed from me??
I have been struggling all day to stay present and do my job, but I really just want to go disappear for awhile. I don't even know where I go in my head. I'm just gone.
I just can't take another year like last year. :*(
I'm so sorry Misty. When the flashbacks of memories long forgotten come back it turns your world upside down. I'm so sorry that you have more to deal with now. Being abused by more than one person is horrible and having the memories of it come back like that... I know your head must be spinning. Believe me I know how you feel in that. I was abused as a child by an older kid. I repressed those memories and then when it started to happen again, being sexually abused by a different person more than ten years later, I was hit by memories of the sexual abuse from my childhood as well.
I wish that I was better with words, that I was able to say something to make things easier for you, something to help. I'm still working on finding things that help me when I have flashbacks. Since I don't have access to a lot of the things I used to do to cope right now I've been struggling myself. I'm here to listen if you need to vent. RAINN's website has some different sugguestions you can try for when you're having a flashback that can help. I usually end up sticking my head in the freezer or under cold water to try and get myself out of them right now. (Yeah, I know that sounds really weird.)
Please take care of yourself. Try to do something that makes you feel safe and helps you to relax. Get yourself a treat. Anything to take your mind off things.
Thank you, Rose. "Just" replying is a big help. Knowing someone is listening. I understand feeling like I can't say anything helpful because I struggle, too, but the truth is, having folks reply however they want to really is helpful.
Thank you both for being around tonight. I will probably do more reading/responding later. Signing off for now.
I understand you completely....that has been my past year as well. Alot of things have come out that is hard to wrap your head around. Hang in there...Right now I cannot offer much just know that I am listening. Just know that sometimes I cannot respond right away I am still trying to take care of myself but I am lurking....
Thank you everyone. I'm so sorry to hear of similar events in your lives as well. Truly I am. Even when we are hurting we offer comfort to one another here, which is why I love this board and the friendships formed.
Thanks for making me smile, Rose! If we are choosing colors, I would like lavender. I assume we may choose whatever blanket works the best! What I liked were the ways in which the blanket is used - no matter what the color.
Yeah, I really liked how DD put it. Besides you can never beat having a fluffy blanket to cuddle up in! I must say though that I was thinking of wearing it like a cape myself. Lol. As soon as I read that I was picturing myself as a kid running around the house with a towel on my back as a cape with my siblings chasing me and laughing. It made me laugh.
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
The opinions expressed in WebMD Communities are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. Communities are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment.
Do not consider Communities as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.