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facing SA - starting the healing journey
(this is another re-post of a post I did years ago. I am not altering it, it isn't addressed to anyone in particular, its calling me to bring it forward so here it is.)


I get the feeling you are not ready to embrace your "inner abused self".

that in a way you are looking for, NEEDING someone to tell you "no you weren't abused"

want... need ...perhaps praying that someone will tell you NOPE no abuse happened to you.

would that make it easier to deal with what you are dealing with? Magically give you the power to sweep it under the rug and return you to your previously scheduled program?

and on the flip side it also sounds like you need someone to confirm that you were abused, that you do not trust your own instincts.

If a student came to you and described the same info in your first post to you, what would you tell them?

You already know the answer. Your just to afraid to say it allowed.

Is it because of the stigma?

Is it because of the sense of string pulling? ie: if i tug at this little string, everything will come unravelled and fall apart and I fear that I would never get it all back together again.

Healing from SA is like leaping out of an airplane without a parachute. You just decide one moment to go for it and you leap.
Its scary as hell and you feel like you are going to fall forever, but as you face it you realize you have wings and you can fly and you will land safely.

...for some of us we are buckled in our seats on the plane and suddenly with a loud BAM the whole side of the plane rips off and we are sucked out and sent spinning through the cold air.

Others leap with the coaxing of a therapist in a tandom leap, and once the hand hold on the plane is released they plumit down fast as the weight of all the baggage they carry. The therapist helps them shed the baggage and guides them in for a smooth landing.

How ever you get set on the path to healing doesn't matter. SOMETHING in your life lead you hear and is begging for your attention.

Listen to it.

and if you really need a second opinion. (which you don't, yours is all that matters) Then yes you were abused.
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
tnmist responded:
Thank you DD for pulling this forward. Good food for thought.


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