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Gloomy day
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tnmist posted:
I have many ups and downs, and this dark, rainy day here where I live is just getting the best of me. Just going to go curl up and hide for awhile. Feeling very young/little today. Things weighing on my soul today.

-m
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DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
I will share some of our sunshine here in OR, for a change its beautiful and sunny.

(((((((((((((((((M))))))))))))))))
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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az330 responded:
I completely understand where you are coming from. I feel the same way today. I feel like throwing a temper tantrum. I feel angry and can't seem to get the anger out.

Im giving you back the pink blanket and tucking you in. I hope it provides comfort and hides you for a little while. Gentle hugs if ok?

Hang in there....

AZ
 
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az330 replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
DD, Do you live by the coast. I am envious....I have always wanted to visit pacific northwest.... It just seems beautiful up there.

AZ
 
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DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to az330's response:
I am 2 1/2 hour away from the coast and California redwoods. EVERYONE should come walk through the redwoods and see our coast line.
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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az330 replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
I wish I could visit the redwoods today. I always feel so at peace there. Its so surreal.... Same thing with the beach. I wish I had those around me. I live in the desert and sometimes I hate it....You are very lucky.

Misty I hope you are doing better today? Be gentle with yourself... ((((Misty))))

AZ
 
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bluerose90 responded:
((((hugs if okay)))

I understand what you mean Misty. I hope you're feeling a little better today. Be gentle with yourself and take the time you need.

Sending warm thoughts and an ocean breeze your way.

Rose
Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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bluerose90 replied to az330's response:
I've always wanted to go to see the redwood forest but I've never had the chance. I'm seen some beautiful pictures from the area though.

AZ, you live in the desert too? I do live next to the ocean but still it's all sand and desert here, a smattering of a few palm trees, and that's it. I grew up in farm land and I seriously miss the green. I'm fortunate to live near the ocean but it's tourist season here right now so the beaches are full of people. So I'd rather keep my distance for now.

Rose
Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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tnmist replied to bluerose90's response:
Thank you for hugs and gentle ocean breezes and lofty redwood forest thoughts everyone. Just a quiet spell...I'm sure it will pass. I'm around. Just in lurk mode. Gentle hugs all around. Just a lot on my mind.

-m
 
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marysings replied to az330's response:
I'm so glad that my pink blanket can help many other hurting souls. I usually sleep with it laying next to my chest. It's been in my life since the 1950s. Anything/everything I ever had is gone. When I hold it up to the light, it's just barely hanging together. But it smells wonderful and is so, so, so very soft.

Mary
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
 
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tnmist replied to marysings's response:
Love the pink blanket idea, and thank you, AZ, for sharing. I hope you are feeling better. Mary, I don't think I've heard your pink blanket story. Would like to hear more sometime. I'm in listening/watching mode.

****************************************** (trigger)
******************************************
******************************************
******************************************
******************************************

No talk.
No talk.
No talk.
Panic feelings flying over me, through me, around me.
Rocking, rocking.
Hide, hide, hide.
Shhhh. Quiet. No talk.

-m
 
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bluerose90 replied to tnmist's response:
(((((((safe, gentle hugs)))))))
Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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tnmist replied to bluerose90's response:
  • ***********(trigger)******************
    ***************************************
    Thank you, Rose....I'm nuts tonight. I had to attend a meeting, and I didn't realize exactly which part of the building it would be in, nor did I realize it would matter so much. I entered the room and wasn't there 10 minutes when I could feel myself panicking, getting all shaky, and crying. You see, it was the exact same type of room in which I was assaulted by a teenager in one of my recent flashbacks. I would explain better, but I don't want to be specific about where I was.

    Fortunately, I was able to focus on a problem that distracted me from the reaction that was taking place, but I've been shaking all evening. Maybe a good cry when I go to bed will help.

    I've never had this happen before. My meltdowns have always been private. And this room? It's in a building that is a regular part of my life. I refuse to run away from this, but I thought I was "done" with that flashback. I mean, it was part of my last session, and I thought I could wash my hands of it.

    This, this, sideswiping me like this - this ain't cool!!

    OH, I want to be DONE with this $%^^&*! stuff in my head. Just when I start to get my feet under me - boom! I get knocked down again. And what's the enemy?? My own mind. My own mind. I just, I just...I've had it. You know? I've just had it.

    I'm tired of fighting the depression. I'm tired...I'm tired. Sometimes I get these "flashes" of doom, like this won't ever be different. This is it. I'm tired of trying to keep it together. I've just had it. :******(

    Misty
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    tnmist replied to tnmist's response:
    P.S....And I just want to scream and kick things or beat something up or SOMEthing...But I feel beat up...wasted...lost.

    -m
     
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    slik_kitty replied to tnmist's response:
    hugs misty


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