Ok so alot of you dont know but 10 months ago I was victimized again. A perfect stranger attacked me in my own house. Its been a roller coaster. My childhood was thrown in my face. Everything was a mess and I thought I was trying to deal with things. I have been living fear because they never caught him. I got a call from a detective. They caught him. They matched his DNA with the samples they took from me. I feel like its happening to me all over again. Im need to feel safe. Im so overwhelmed. The nightmare is starting over again. Life sucks. I wish I could die. Suicide seems like my only answer. I want the pain to stop!
AZ, I'm so sorry that that happened to you. (((soft gentle hugs if okay)))
I'm glad that they caught him. At least you know he's not on the street anymore. I honestly wish I had some words that would comfort you... Please hang in there.
There is always a spark of hope in the darkness, a ray of light, even in the darkest night. You've got a lot going on right now. With this news and your health, but please don't give up. (((hugs if okay)))
I feel like Im screaming out loud and no one can hear me. People are just passing me by. I do not know how to ask for help. I just want hide. I want to go to sleep and wake up when this nightmare is over with. Why is the legal system made for criminals? Frustrated and alone. Crying out of control and no one around me even cares If I died today they would be like good ridence. Finally she will stop complaining. I feel like saying sorry to bother you. Sorry my cries for help inconvenience you. I want to disappear. I feel so small and insignificant. Just venting
I know that I would care a great deal if you died and I'm sure that there are a lot of people that would feel the same way... I can only imagine what you're going through. The things you have to deal with and all the thoughts that must be spinning around in your mind. Please just don't give up. Yell, scream, cry, and vent all you need. I'm here listening and I'm sure a lot of others are too. You're not alone.
I'm glad you are angry, AZ. You should be. I don't know if the perp is in or out on bail or what, but I hope do what you need to do to stay safe. I'm here listening. Rant and rave all you need to.
I'm not the best as far as offering grounding techniques, but feeling something tangible - ice cold, or the texture of the floor on bare feet - or telling yourself what color the room is that you are in, that it's 2013, using any of your senses to stay present may help. (((AZ)))
Feeling sad today. I am feeling overwhelmed. I got in touch with my local rape crisis center. I am meeting with an advocate today to help me with the legal process. Physically I am tired. I cannot sleep at night. I fear so much right now.
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