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az330 posted:
Ok so alot of you dont know but 10 months ago I was victimized again. A perfect stranger attacked me in my own house. Its been a roller coaster. My childhood was thrown in my face. Everything was a mess and I thought I was trying to deal with things. I have been living fear because they never caught him. I got a call from a detective. They caught him. They matched his DNA with the samples they took from me. I feel like its happening to me all over again. Im need to feel safe. Im so overwhelmed. The nightmare is starting over again. Life sucks. I wish I could die. Suicide seems like my only answer. I want the pain to stop!
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bluerose90 responded:
AZ, I'm so sorry that that happened to you.
(((soft gentle hugs if okay)))

I'm glad that they caught him. At least you know he's not on the street anymore. I honestly wish I had some words that would comfort you... Please hang in there.

There is always a spark of hope in the darkness, a ray of light, even in the darkest night. You've got a lot going on right now. With this news and your health, but please don't give up.
(((hugs if okay)))

Rose
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Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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az330 replied to bluerose90's response:
I feel like Im screaming out loud and no one can hear me. People are just passing me by.
I do not know how to ask for help. I just want hide. I want to go to sleep and wake up when this nightmare is over with. Why is the legal system made for criminals? Frustrated and alone. Crying out of control and no one around me even cares If I died today they would be like good ridence. Finally she will stop complaining. I feel like saying sorry to bother you. Sorry my cries for help inconvenience you. I want to disappear. I feel so small and insignificant. Just venting

SORRY for exsisting....
 
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bluerose90 replied to az330's response:
Please take a few deep breaths for me, AZ.

I know that I would care a great deal if you died and I'm sure that there are a lot of people that would feel the same way... I can only imagine what you're going through. The things you have to deal with and all the thoughts that must be spinning around in your mind. Please just don't give up. Yell, scream, cry, and vent all you need. I'm here listening and I'm sure a lot of others are too. You're not alone.

(((gentle hugs if okay)))

Rose
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Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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tnmist replied to az330's response:
I'm so sorry, AZ. Is there a crisis line you can call or something??? You are not insignificant. You matter. Your feelings matter. Please be safe. (((gentle hugs if okay))).

-Misty
 
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az330 replied to tnmist's response:
I am angry! I am furious. Why can't they just lock him and throw away the key! Who cares about his rights. What about mine? Don't they have all the evidence they need?

Its brought up alot of emotions in me and flashbacks. Needing help feeling grounded....slipping in an out of reality.
 
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tnmist replied to az330's response:
I'm glad you are angry, AZ. You should be. I don't know if the perp is in or out on bail or what, but I hope do what you need to do to stay safe. I'm here listening. Rant and rave all you need to.

I'm not the best as far as offering grounding techniques, but feeling something tangible - ice cold, or the texture of the floor on bare feet - or telling yourself what color the room is that you are in, that it's 2013, using any of your senses to stay present may help. (((AZ)))

-Misty
 
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az330 replied to tnmist's response:
Feeling sad today. I am feeling overwhelmed. I got in touch with my local rape crisis center. I am meeting with an advocate today to help me with the legal process.
Physically I am tired. I cannot sleep at night. I fear so much right now.

*Hugging a pillow to hide my heart.*
 
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bluerose90 replied to az330's response:
I'm glad that you got in touch with the rape crisis center, AZ. I hope that the advocate is able to help you out. (((gentle hugs if okay)))

I know how much you must be going through right now but it's going to be okay. Take some deep breaths and hang in there.

*Hands you the pink fluffy blanket to wrap around you.*

Rose
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Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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lovely_lemon_tree replied to bluerose90's response:
Sitting with you, hoping that an extra presence will make some kind of a difference.

Good for you for reaching out! The advocates tend to be very kind.
We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
 
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tnmist replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
Glad someone is helping you out, AZ. I'm glad you are taking care of you. ((((((((((AZ))))))))))

-Misty
 
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DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to az330's response:
oh Az.....(((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs you))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) you have more on your plate then anyone should have.

When is your last chemotherapy?

we need to plan a cyber party. Something to look forward to, the closing of this fight. So you can then focus on the next fight.

I hope the advocate is able to help you sort all the legal stuff.

I am so proud of you for facing this and getting justice done. So many of us never take this step.
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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az330 replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
Thank you for all the kind words of encouragment. I've been around...just don't have the energy to reply. Thank you. I will be back soon....Trying to keep myself safe...
 
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tnmist replied to az330's response:
(((AZ))). Hope you are able to get some rest, too.
 
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az330 replied to tnmist's response:
Struggling today....Thats all I can say right now...I have no words...


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