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Angry
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az330 posted:
I hate web md...i just posted. and it disappeared. I hate everything. Its a sign im not supposed to share how I feel. Nothing is going my way today. Feeling angry!
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bluerose90 responded:
I'm so sorry AZ. I hate when a posting disappears. Please don't give up on talking here. We're all happy to listen to you. I'm sorry that the site is crummy sometimes.

Maybe some coloring, loud music, or journaling would help you get rid of some of your anger. It helps me sometimes. Even if I just color a page black. It helps get it out. Please take care and keep trying to talk here, okay? I won't be sleeping for quite awhile tonight so I'll keep checking in to see if you've posted anything.

((Hugs))

Rose
Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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az330 replied to bluerose90's response:
if i were to color it would be black and red. im so angry. i wish i had a bat to smash everything in my house. im tired of fighting. my t wants more of me and cant do it
 
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bluerose90 replied to az330's response:
AZ, take a couple deep breaths for me, okay? I can't imagine all the things that you're going through right now and I'm so sorry that you're having such a difficult time. I wish there was something more I could do to help you from here but I'll always listen. (((hugs if okay)))

Maybe you could scream into a pillow or hit it? Anything that you can do to help get rid of some of the anger. It's not good to keep it inside. I'm not sure if you're religious or not so I hope you don't take offense at this or anything... Maybe pray for awhile? It might help you release some of the emotion that's bubbling up inside you. I've sat and prayed for until I was exhausted before, usually with tears, but I always feel better after I do. Do you think you could give it a try?

Rose
Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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tnmist replied to az330's response:
((((((((((AZ)))))))))) I'm sorry you feel like your back's against a wall. Hope you can dispel some of that anger in a healthy way, like with one of the suggestions Rose made. I hope you feel less stressed very soon.

-Misty
 
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bluerose90 replied to az330's response:
Hey AZ, I just wanted to check in with you and see how you're feeling today. I hope you're doing a little better now.

(((hugs)))

Rose
Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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az330 replied to bluerose90's response:
Im still here....Dont know what to say....Feeling not right today...
 
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tnmist replied to az330's response:
Like a little dissociative? Thank you for writing today! (((Gentle hug if okay))) Keep breathing. One day at a time, AZ.

This may or may not be anything like what you are experiencing, but lately I've had more and more times where I just don't feel present, almost like I'm watching myself. I'm going to broach that subject with my T this Friday.

-Misty
 
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az330 replied to tnmist's response:
Yes I dont feel connected today. i need help
 
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bluerose90 replied to az330's response:
I'm sorry that it took me so long to get back here to check on you AZ. I'm glad that you were able to post! (((hugs if okay))) Like Misty said, keep breathing and take it a day at a time.

I'm here to listen if you would like to talk AZ. I know it's hard to do sometimes, especially if you aren't feeling well. Could you call a local center to talk for a little while maybe? That might help. I just wish there was more I could do to help. Please take care of yourself AZ.

(((hugs)))

Rose
Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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az330 replied to bluerose90's response:
I feel the little girl inside me. She is crying. I cannot cry or show emotion right now. I do feel like I am out of my body. or maybe like I am locked up inside me and am not myself. I don't understand if this makes sense. Maybe Im going crazy.I feel like im going insane. Im headed for the padded room. The crazy meds arent helping. im so pumped up with cancer meds that everything affects me. Lost....
 
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bluerose90 replied to az330's response:
  • gives you a flashlight so you can find you're way*

    You're not going crazy AZ. I'm no expert, I don't pretend to be on the subject, but it sounds like you're disassociating. With as much as you have going on right now I would say that it's a normal reaction. I honestly wish there was more that I could do or say... something that might give you some comfort.

    (((hugs))) *gives you a fluffy blanket and a cup of tea, hoping that the company helps*

    Rose
    Where there is shadow, there is light.
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    az330 replied to bluerose90's response:
    Ive got another meeting with detectives tomorrow.I will be there with my advocate. its very draining. all of this is bringing up childhood abuse. I cannot let my mind go there right now. I must protect myself. 2nd to last treatment at end of week and work in the middle. I cannot be angry, I cannot be sad, I cannot let the little girl take over,
     
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    bluerose90 replied to az330's response:
    (((Hugs)))

    I'm sorry that you have to go through more of that but I'm very glad that your advocate is going to be there with you. I understand how you feel about not being able to let your emotions take over. Sometimes you just have to push them to the side so you can get through everything. I'm so glad that you're treatments are almost finished! We'll have to have a little party on the board for your last one.

    Please keep breathing and be good to yourself. Try to treat yourself to something that you enjoy. That might help to keep your mind off things.

    (((hugs if okay)))

    Rose
    Where there is shadow, there is light.
     
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    az330 replied to bluerose90's response:
    Can you just sit with me for awhile and color maybe?


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