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    need direction please
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    dawnie15 posted:
    I just came to this community. I am seeking help for my nephew. He is an adult survivor of sexual abuse. I am seeking info to help him. He is very depressed and has never dealt with what happened to him. I wonder if anyone can direct me to books or anything that can help. He refuses to seek counseling and I am not sure what to do.
    Reply
     
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    tnmist responded:
    Hello, I'm very sorry to hear your nephew is having to cope with the trauma. Unfortunately, if he is not ready to deal with it or seek therapy, there may not be a whole lot you can do. That is only my opinion, though, and I hope I'm wrong.

    This website appears to have a good list of resources:
    http://www.rainn.org/news-room/multimedia/suggested-books-and-movies

    The Courage to Heal is a popular book and has been very helpful to me. It is geared mostly toward women, but, if I remember correctly, they do say that men can find it useful, too. I've been through the book, and I think a guy could find it encouraging and informative, also. The website I listed above, when you scroll down, it has a section of resources for male survivors.

    Best wishes on your nephew's journey. It's wonderful that you are supportive of him. A lot of people don't have any relatives in their corner. I hope you let us know how things are going.

    -Misty
     
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    bluerose90 responded:
    Hi Dawnie,

    Welcome and I'm glad that you found us here but I'm sorry that you and your nephew are having to deal with these things. It is something that is very difficult to deal with and can take a long time to work through it. I personally think that it takes a lot of courage to admit it and take on the fight to get to a better place.

    There are a lot of books out there that can be helpful. I knew of several for women in particular but I did some research to find some specifically for men that are recommended to help.
    Courage to Heal Workbook: For Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, by Laura Davis

    Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse, Mike Lew

    Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men, Richard Gartner


    Also you might go to rainn.org they also have a lot of information to help survivors of sexual abuse including an online hotline where you can chat over the computer with a volunteer who can give you more information. They also have a phone hotline that you can call to contact a local crisis center that might be able to recommend a therapist for him if he ever decides to go.(All of those services are also free.) It is anonymous so he doesn't have to give his name or any information that he doesn't want to.

    RAINN was actually the first place I went when I first started dealing with it because it was easier for me to go to the online hotline than it was to call and talk to someone over the phone.

    I just wanted to say also that he is very lucky that you are there to help him though it. It can be hard on you too because it is so much to deal with so you might like to look at the information at RAINN for family and friends of survivors too. I hope everything works out for the best and please take care. Don't hesitate to come back to the community with any questions or even just to talk.

    Rose
    Where there is shadow, there is light.
     
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    bluerose90 replied to tnmist's response:
    I think we were typing at the same time, Misty.

    Rose
    Where there is shadow, there is light.
     
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    tnmist replied to bluerose90's response:
    I think so, but any duplicate information can't hurt. This is one area in life where there are fewer resources for men, and my heart goes out to anybody, male or female, having to deal with this stuff. It stinks. Plain and simple.

    -Misty
     
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    dawnie15 replied to tnmist's response:
    thank you. I know he is not ready, but thank you for the resources. I want them in hopes he will someday want the help. It is difficult to see the pain and hopelessness, but I have to hold on to hope that he will someday face this and be able to cope.
     
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    dawnie15 replied to bluerose90's response:
    thank you so much for your help. I am so happy I found this site. thank you for website. I will check it out
     
    avatar
    dawnie15 replied to bluerose90's response:
    thank you
     
    avatar
    dawnie15 replied to tnmist's response:
    thank you


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