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marysings posted:
First of all I don't think there will be triggers in this post. And secondly, there is no reason to read/respond to this "rant".

I got out of the psych hospital in early November. A month later, when I saw DrM, my psychiatrist, he got really ticked off that the pdoc at the hospital had changed my meds. He immediately told me to throw the new depression med away. Then he decided he wanted me on a different med for anxiety. Again told me to throw out the old med and begin taking the new one.

So in December I became a whole new person ... a "blithering idiot" (according to my husband. And unfortunately he was right.) I couldn't spell. I would forgot something almost immediately after talking about it, resulting in a lot of questions from me to him and almost never at the right time. My handwriting deteriorated to a third grader. One day I put on white shoes. I the way they looked but I could not figure out what on earth to do with strings that were attached. I asked endless questions, drove my husband nuts, and was basically home-bound.

In January Dr.M asked how I was doing and my husband answered with a description of December. He tirade continued and then he finally said that I had totally destroyed Christmas. Needless to say, I immediately began a self-hate journey. Dr.B worked with me for about six weeks to conquer that thinking.

Dr.M apologized that he did not lower the doses of the new meds. He said the anxiety med I stopped should have been tapered. It was that med that caused all my problems.

I have been abandoned by WebMD. When they took the moderators away, it's just not been the same. My heart aches for Caprice and all the other moderators.

My depression has been difficult to live with. One day I am "up" and the next day I am "down".

Fibromyalgia seems to give me more and more pain and discomfort. I get tired far too easily and have to lay down for at least an hour every afternoon.

My crumbled spine provides another area of intense low back pain. I had 8 injections into my spine the other day and have a LOT LESS pain. The last shots lasted 8 months - I hope to have pain relief for another 8 months.

For a long time everything has overwhelmed me - cleaning house, cooking, laundry and iron, and taking better care of myself. I have good intentions of walking every day but I rarely leave the house.

So that's where I am now. I know I didn't need to write any of this and I don't know if I will return.

Thanks for ten years of awesome support,
MarySings
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
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tnmist responded:
I'm sorry you feel abandoned by WebMd, Mary. You are right, there is no moderator...no one steering the ship, so to speak. There are a few of us around, however, fellow survivors, and I hope you do post again when you feel up to it. ...There is room in our sandbox. We play nice.

I, too, am very angry with WebMD. Just don't know where else to go right now. The ones that do post here are wonderful, and I appreciate everyone.

I hope the meds are helping you now. That was awful what the doctors did. I'm so sorry to hear that. I know you have been struggling.

I wanted to post. I hope you don't mind. I do miss you. I was a total wreck all of last year, and I do understand, to a degree, some of your discouragement. I'm still very up and down, too, and my house is still not caught up with housecleaning.

Peace and healing on your journey, Mary. I hope you let us know how you are doing when you can. No pressure. No expectations.

-Misty
 
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lovely_lemon_tree replied to tnmist's response:
((gentle hugs if okay))

You have been my friend and supporter for many years.

Safe journeys, wherever it may take you.
We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
 
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slik_kitty responded:
take care of yourself mary. i hope you find the peace you are looking for. hugs
 
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bluerose90 responded:
Please take good care of yourself, Mary. You will be missed here. I hope that you're able to find the peace that you're looking for.

(((hugs if okay)))

Rose
Where there is shadow, there is light.
 
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az330 replied to bluerose90's response:
I will miss you Mary....I am sad to see you go. I hope you the healing a peace you are looking for where ever your path leads you...

Goodbye my friend..


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