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I'm just sayin'
marysings posted:




Right now I am in the deep and dark hole in the ground. I see nothing positive. I am nothing. I take up a lot of room because I am fat, stupid, ugly and worthless.

And the worse thing? I am the world's best pretender that I am alright.

I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart. Have patience with me as I heal.
tnmist responded:
Hi, Mary. ((((gentle hugs)))) I'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now. I don't know about BPD, but I am very familiar with the rest, and you are right - they stink. They reek. They are the pits! Has the med situation been straightened out any? Is that part of the problem, finding the right meds to help?

Is the spring season helping at all? Just having some relaxing time in the sun sometimes helps me. I have a screened-in porch, so I don't get much sun while actually on the porch, but I have a chaise lounge out there, and just sitting out there with a book and my pets helps me a great deal sometimes to quiet my restless and angry spirit.

Do you ever journal? Is that something that may help? I've gotten away from that, and I really do need to pick it up again. Not sure why I don't, to tell you the truth.

Wish there was something I could do to help or offer some wise thoughts, but most of the time I feel like Winnie the Pooh and just have stuffing in my head.

Just wanted you to know I hear you....

***Sits near you with understanding and empathy***

bluerose90 responded:
Hey Mary,

I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. Like Misty I don't know much about BPD either but I understand what it feels like to have to deal with the rest. Have you tried drawing or coloring at all lately to help? Now that it's starting to get warmer for you up North maybe going for walks? Misty had a lot of good suggestions that might help you.

I wish there was more I could do to help... *sits with you and offers hot tea or cocoa and my crayons and coloring books*

Where there is shadow, there is light.
lovely_lemon_tree replied to bluerose90's response:
Right there with you, Mary...

I second what you say. It stinks! It's horrible!

What's going on to make you say these things?
We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi

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