Maladaptive Daydreaming or Catfishing coping mechanisms?
ADD links with maladaptive daydreaming/catfishing
by Rhondae Â» Tue Apr 30, 2013 10:23 pm
Hey everyone I'm new here.
I'm a female and 21.
Appreciate anyone who manages to bear with the long post.
Had all the symptoms of someone with ADD and what seems to be called maladaptive daydreaming (not diagnosed however) for as long as I can remember and I'd just like to request some insight into some things as I really can't face a therapist - though I visited my gp once, concerning my levels who said they'd refer me to a specialist but didn't.
I was abused once by an older male and coincidentally for a period of time by two older females as a child though my family remain unaware. The abuse from the females however took place by them grooming me into believing we were playing a game where I'd have to pretend to be 'their husband' and from the ages of 6-10 after initial resistance they got their ways (separate people/periods).
I spent a few teenage & some adult yrs somehow getting caught up into 'catfishing' across 4 different online identities (3males 1female) one at a time. They started off as just light anonymous chat with no intention of escalating then found myself having to backstory who i 'was' and ended up in intense relationships (sounds crazy online but completely possible). Messed up i know, not proud of it, beat myself up about this for ages. Also just to note I did this while juggling a perfectly what seemed to be 'normal' life as in friends,social,now&then relationships(never at the same time though),education,career etc.
Anyway finally ended the last one (always found a way to end one due to guilt eventually) but feel severe withdrawal symptoms and some anxiety i'm almost not sure what 'myself' is anymore. I realise that this covers numerous things so may find it beneficial to search elsewhere as well for an allrounded response.
So my questions to this section are:
Have any of you ever found yourself a 'catfish' or Maladaptive Daydreaming at any point in life?
Could this potentially be linked to my experiences as a child?
If I really dig deep into my subconscious I feel as though those things were maybe a way of me justifying what I went through and making it seem somewhat even 'normal' to the point where I may be vulnerable to becoming disassociated.
And just in general any thoughts/help/advice please?
Forgive the careless copy & paste at the top I also previously looked into advice from the ADD community as I've always displayed symptoms of that and the beginning body of what I wrote is generally the same.
When you are a child and abused the boundaries that should be there get shot all to hell.
Right and wrong get mixed up in your head. Boundaries get re-drawn in weird places. Particularly the one that says "I have the right to use you in anyway I see fit." That is one bad one that the abuse teaches you.
Yes your childhood experiences shaped and redefined the stability of who you at the core are.
Growth and change are possible.
Welcome to the board glad you found us.
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
I'm glad you found us here and I'm very sorry for what happened to you... DDT had some great points. I wish there was more that I could add to it that might help but I think she covered it pretty well. When abusers mess with our boundaries when we are so young it can screw us up. I've done some things that I'm not proud of too but like DDT said with time and support we can grow and change.
I had to look up Maladaptive Daydreaming because I wasn't familiar with it and honestly I was surprised because it sounded a lot like me... I guess that warrants some more research into it on my part as well.
Anything you want to talk about or if you need an outlet to vent this is a great place to do it. Welcome to the board.
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