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Downward slope
tnmist posted:
Ever feel like you can't stand being in your own skin another moment? I'm feeling antsy, stressed, depressed, abandoned, misunderstood, angry, just everything, it seems. I feel like my soul is being crushed, and no one cares or even notices. My life is such a waste. I'm tired of this life sentence.

How do I become someone else because I hate being me? I hate it.

I'm in pain, but since I'm not bleeding, I guess it doesn't count. Doctors are stupid. The pain is just crushing my soul today.

Thanks for listening. You don't need to reply. I just needed to vent.

Must be something in the air today. I woke needing "food therapy" (Twinkies are the best cure for this mood, but sadly two months away)

There are times I wonder if non-abused people go through spells like this, or if we are more in tuned because of our pasts.

Or are we simple at the mercy of fluctuating woman hormones.

I also wonder, is this state a message from the cosmos? am I supposed to be doing something with this pain?

Is there a purpose for it?

any way, it took a ton of sugar to get me back on the path today. *slides the other 1/2 dozen donuts your way*

won't cure what you're feeling, but will make it taste better.

I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
bluerose90 responded:

I feel your pain... To try be good to yourself today. Is there anything that helps to self-soothe you? Like DDT said I think we are all feeling down as of late.

Remember that you're not alone and we care about you and how you feel. (((hugs if okay)))

Where there is shadow, there is light.
tnmist replied to bluerose90's response:
DD, thank you. Hope you are doing better today. Can't say that I am particularly. Just not feeling anything, really.

Rose, thanks for reminding me that ya'll care. Don't know about self-soothing stuff...I generally sleep more, but I couldn't sleep at all last night. Then the neighbor was running her SUV/van on idle for a LONG time this morning. They were working on her car and just left it in the driveway (near my bedroom window) idling for over an hour at least. Got on my last nerve and didn't help the headache I woke up with...

Unfortunately I still do turn to food a LOT, and it's not helping me at all. Need a healthier coping mechanism.

Just really stressed, like everyone else, I suppose.

tnmist replied to tnmist's response:
Was talking to my T Friday...Told him I felt like I was crazy...He replied that he had a license to diagnose "crazy," and I was not crazy. Not sure I appreciated his humor at that moment, but I got his point.

Still, I just don't understand who I even am! Even my dreams are reflecting that angst, according to my T, who is very good with dreams. I'm sooooooo confused these days. Just want to run away and everyone leave me alone. Wish I had NO responsibilities and could just go veg on an island for awhile or something. (Do people say "veg" anymore? LOL)

Ever wish you could just pause life for a BREATHER?!

Just feeling so confused and overwhelmed. How do you go about finding out who you are??? I'm not a spring chicken anymore and am close to 50. Just feeling LOST.

Having trouble with all the lies in my head. They are so loud, and the truth is just a whisper now and then....Yep, I still feel like I'm just crazy.

bluerose90 replied to tnmist's response:
You're not crazy, Misty. I know that it can feel that way sometimes but you're not. By the way, I don't know if other people use the word "veg" but I do. LOL

I'm not sure if anyone has a good answer to how you figure out who you are. I thought I knew who I was before but now I'm not so sure either. Right now I think I'm just Foxy's mom and the white chick in the neighborhood. LOL Speaking of Foxy... he just jumped into my clothes and is romping around in them.... Little stinker. LOL

Where there is shadow, there is light.
tnmist replied to bluerose90's response:
Appreciate your reply, Rose....I'm calling it a day. Going to bed. Can't deal with anything else.

the lost one

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