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Believing - ******?Trigger-ish?******
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tnmist posted:
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    Saw my T today. Brought him 4 pieces of "art work" I created this week just to try to help purge this mess in my brain. One picture depicted one of my memories, and I was so confused. It made me doubt everything all over again, and I've been in such despair all week. He explained something important to me, and he totally believed my latest memory, too, and I feel like I can breathe again. I am still weepy and depressed, but it's just a little easier to breathe.

    Still waiting for my antidepressant to begin helping me. It's only been 1 week.

    I'm totally wiped out, though. Going to take a nap.

    Thank you for listening.
    Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: Getting out of bed. - Mason Cooley

    Misty
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    DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
    memory work is punishing. Don't dive in and expect to clear out everything in a short amount of time. Allow it come slowly and unforced.

    You need to practice your healthy coping skills and being in the moment and feeling the emotions.

    Healing is a race, its a journey.

    Have you developed a post therapy ritual?

    Just something to physically note the transition from therapeutic atmosphere back to day to day life? Can be as simple as washing your hand and touching wet hands to your neck. Or knocking on your car hood as you walk past it, skipping down the steps as you leave.

    Its physically acknowledging that you have taken a step, and each step in this journey is worth noting and celebrating.

    Not all surviors of SA work there way through what you are doing, some saddly stay wounded.

    Another important pact if the post session detox or debriefing. Take 15 min and jot down any whirling post-session thoughts before driving home. Do a few min of cleansing breaths or cry of 10 min, you deserve the time to reflect and think before catapulting yourself back into the daily grind.
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
     
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    lovely_lemon_tree responded:
    .* pats you on the hand*

    The surfacing of new memories is disconcerting, to say the least. It's hard to believe yourself, let alone present it to others and "allow" them to believe you. I remember when one of my memories surfaced in that odd, barely conscious state just before fully waking up and suddenly I knew what happened.

    But I think it's geat that your therapist believed and understood. There's nothing like being validated.

    I hope you're feeling better today.

    And give the Wellbutrin time... those things can take several weeks to kick in (sigh!).
    We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
     
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    tnmist replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
    Thanks, DDT. And what a journey it is, eh! The memories surface when I'm ready to cope with more. I don't expect to recover EVERYTHING, and they have slowed down quite a bit since last year, which is fine with me. Processing them with my therapist is the best thing, otherwise I tend to fixate on them.

    I guess I have been "transitioning" without realizing that's what I was doing...If it's a tough session I do take the time I need before going back to the business of daily living. I used to be able to sit in my car for a bit, but it's too hot now. He has an extra office he isn't using and invites me to use it as long as I need to. Sometimes for crying, sometimes I just have to close my eyes and not think at all, and sometimes I sit and color for a little bit.

    I know I didn't explain myself very well, and it wasn't that I needed the FB interpreted as much as I needed my leap of assumption corrected. He gave me some info on how perps operate, and it helped a lot.
    Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: Getting out of bed. - Mason Cooley

    Misty
     
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    tnmist replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    Thank you, LLT. On this entire planet, I only trust 4 people enough to share any of my FBs with, and one of them is my T, of course. And I don't share everything with the other 3, but I do trust them. We have a lot in common as far as our pasts go.

    I've been off of prescription meds for a year, I think. It was very hard to acknowledge that I was going too far downhill and needed them again. Sigh.

    Doing better today...((gentle hugs))
    Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: Getting out of bed. - Mason Cooley

    Misty


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