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    Ladies please read
    marysings posted:
    The only names that were mentioned on the Borderline board were Paja, LLT, and slik-kitty. AND it was because the person I was corresponding with me asked me specifically if I knew you. I said I did and that was that. No other people were mentioned.

    Those who know me well know that I am not a gossip and I am not a liar.

    I hope I can continue to be on this SA board. Everyone hurts, me included, and I like to think that what I post is kind and helpful.

    I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart.
    tnmist responded:
    Mary, I only want to address your statement, "I hope I can continue to be on this SA Board."

    I only speak for myself, but I don't feel that anyone has been run off of this board.

    I do feel, however, there is tension and conflict, and that anyone involved in it needs to use respectful communication for conflict resolution, i.e.:
    * Asking what someone means if we don't understand,
    * Using sentences beginning with "I feel," (see Mandy's earlier post),
    * Restating what someone has said so the other person knows we heard him or her.
    * Acknowledging hurt feelings, whether intentional or unintentional.
    *Putting our defenses down and listening to each other.

    Stuff like that. (Also please know that I'm stating this generically for anyone reading this note and not at you specifically. I hope that is okay.)

    I've also been thinking about what I have asked the parties to do - to take this argument to a private location. And, I've been rethinking that somewhat. I certainly wouldn't want any further angry posts made, BUT this argument IS public, and so any apologies and resolution, perhaps, should be stated publicly as well. Again, this is only how I feel and is only my opinion.

    Yes, here I am again...I guess I care too much about this board and the people involved to stay too far away.

    Peace to everyone.
    Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: Getting out of bed. - Mason Cooley

    mandybutterflykiss replied to tnmist's response:

    Well written. I think you are correct. You have made me see the logic in this being public and after thought, I could not agree more.

    marysings replied to tnmist's response:
    Misty, I apologized in three separate posts. Someone else posted 'hate mail' and I'm afraid not many wanted to open the post.

    There is no conflict anymore. When 'the person' posts, I not only report her, I totally ignore her. She creates conflict. She feeds on it.

    I am physically ill today. Running a temp and I have very little energy. Hopefully I'll be well tomorrow. I have an appointment with DrB on Tuesday.

    I don't want anyone to leave because of me. That would break my heart.

    I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart.
    tnmist replied to marysings's response:
    Mary, I'm very sorry you are not feeling well. I know several people running temperatures lately, and I hope you recover quickly.

    As for the disagreement and apologies, well, to me it sort of sounds like this whole thing is not resolved yet. Have I misunderstood something? If folks missed your apologies earlier, I encourage you to re-post them. It can't hurt, right??I encourage you to be as specific and clear as possible.

    I don't want anyone to leave either. I hope everyone (including all those not posting and keeping away) will feel safe enough to be a part of this board again.

    And, yes, I am ignoring your second paragraph because I don't know how to respond or what to do with that information. I will only say that I think it is particularly important right now to preface any sort of strong words with "I feel that..." I think that will help everyone.

    Peace to all
    Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: Getting out of bed. - Mason Cooley

    An_252977 replied to tnmist's response:
    first off misty., i was not looking for this to be here and for as long as it has, this person was looking for people to get her to fee; sorry for her/ , as far as you go .spare mr, that was not b an apology. you were avofing me . and this not fun for me/ it is making me sick that i cant eat, i just wanted you to admit what you did. you talked about the pain you were in, what about that person? the part about about about me being a stalker , when you know far from the truth. that we were friends, but i no longer do i care about that because you are so not worth it. biut what i do care is the added pain that person is in. and who says that you need to have a connection to care about human beinf- `
    tnmist replied to An_252977's response:
    I understand, an_252977. The whole debacle kinda jumped here, but now it does involve this board, so, IMHO, I feel that things need to be resolved on both boards. And thank you for stating that. I appreciate it.

    Um, I think the rest of the note is addressed to Mary....
    Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: Getting out of bed. - Mason Cooley

    mandybutterflykiss replied to marysings's response:
    Be well Mary.

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