Mary, I've been exactly where you are... I think alot of us have. Just wanted to share this encouraging post with you. http://www.wrecked.org/not-ok/damsel-in-distress/ Its really hard for outsiders to understand what its like... they never really will. Just know you arent alone and theres nothing wrong with you!
Not sure if you like readying but Hush and Breathe by Nicole Bromley are AMAZING. Hush is a little hard to get through at first, but well worth it and Breathe is one of the best books I have ever read. She is a dear friend of mine and an insanely bright beacon of hope.
Welcome, Hosanna...I guess you can tell there has been a lot of unnecessary heat on the board lately. It isn't usually this way. We are usually very supportive of each other. It sounds like you have done a lot of healing along the way. Best wishes on your new-found purpose, too.
Every day begins with an act of courage and hope: Getting out of bed. - Mason Cooley
Thank you Hosanna. I read the 'wrecked' post and related instantly except I never became super woman. I buried it all for 40 years and it's come back moment by moment. He always told me he loved me. He called me his princess. It began at 13months and lasted until age 9. My mother sometimes participated.
I feel sick as the memories dart around my brain. More came back over the past week.
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart.
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