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gettoknowme posted:
I have to catch a flight at 2:00 am to my sister's cause I can't spend over eighteen or more hours in a car.Don't know what's really going on with her yet but she only call when she's really in need.It's the I don't know that has me nervous at the moment.


When I get settled there I will check back in to give an update.I have things to do before I leave and haven't even pack yet so I'll do that first.

Let me know how things are going for you.Good or bad or even if you don't know just come in.


  • AZ330
  • Rose
  • Misty
  • LLT
  • Ste
  • Kitty
  • Bonnie
  • Mary
  • Dem51
  • Soulkeepers


Those that didn't come in the last time can you this time around and let people know how you are doing.I'm hoping to hear from everyone on this one.Hope everyone is resting good and have a goodnight.


I'm keep each of you in my prayer box and thoughts while I'm traveling.
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marysings responded:
I hope your trip to see your sister is good. Too bad you have to fly in the middle of the night, so hopefully the plane won't be full and you can stretch out in a 3-seat row.

Me and DrB:
Today's session was difficult as we reviewed my Borderline symptoms - wanting to be a child again, acting like a child, lack of patience with hubby, always thinking about suicide, etc. It was extremely difficult to stay present and not dissociate but I managed to stay with the conversation. yeah! A small victory for me. At the end of the session I told DrB that I felt like a child sitting through a lecture. He was kind and said that was not his intention at all. We both agreed that my next session will be DNMS focusing on my mother's hatefulness, to-do list making, not letting me have a childhood, etc. I told DrB that I am so tired of this. He said we are working on 48 years of abuse and it can't be solved 'overnight'. Ten and a half years of therapy with many ups and downs. Poor man. I'm sure he has nightmares about our sessions.

I feel down a lot but I try to get up in the morning and put on clothes for the day. I get a lot more done when I also wear tennis shoes. I'm trying to help myself but some days it's a huge tug of war.

I hope others will check in.
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart.
 
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lovely_lemon_tree responded:
I am here, here I am.

I have apparently acquired myself a significant other! He's wonderful -- warm, caring, tender, gentle, thoughtful... I will admit that he's not squeaky clean and doesn't come with a basket of roses... but what matters is what he is now. And I like ...

love...

who he is now.

POSSIBLE MAJOR TRIGGERS
BE FOREWARNED
**********
******
*****
****
***

PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN READING THIS

TRIGGER SPACE

TRIGGER SPACE

TRIGGER SPACE

Last night, I did something that could be life-changing-ly irresponsible.
He and I spent the night together. We had unprotected sex. And once the deed is done, why the hell not do it again and again and again? It's a vulnerable time of the month for me and I've gone looking for the morning-after pill and it's $50. I don't have that kind of money. There is no Planned Parenthood in my area that may be able to help. The morning-after pill is only effective for 72 hours and the clock is ticking.
I don't know what to do.
Today I made sure that it was not unprotected and I've already talked to my PCP about getting an IUD but she's had to refer me out to a gynecologist because the implantation is quite specialized. That's not until September 9.

Tick tock.
We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
 
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gettoknowme replied to marysings's response:
Mary,

I hope the trip is good as well but right now I have no idea.I'll relax when I find out what this is all about.



I wanna say how proud I am of the way you have been dealing with all of this.You didn't deserve to be treated like that for that long.Since it happened for years then it's going to take years to work through it.I'm sure Dr.B has no problems and love helping you cause he's been there for you.You can let that child in you out and it's okay because she didn't have a chance to be one.

As long as it's safe then be a child,each of us have a child inside of us.It's okay if you wanna have a day where you don't have to get dress and leave the house.Just have a for Mary to what you feel like doing { Good and Safe} that is.

It's very important to stay in the moment when you're dealing with certain issues and I know it's hard.For your effort for your session today I would say it's a huge victory.As you know there are going to be many ups and downs but it will be all worth it cause you're worth the fight.Each day that you get up to face the day it worth the journey that you're on.

Everyday will not be hard or a tug of war for you and I know you're tired but try and hang in there for a little while longer.Try to relax tonight and hope you have a good nights rest.

You're in my prayers!
 
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gettoknowme replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
LLT,


I'm happy that you find someone that you feel comfortable with.Like I told my sister sweet pea find you someone that is willing/going to treat you like the priceless person that you are and everyone deserve to have that someone in their life.

You're right what matter is the person that he is today and that he treats you well.Now we know what's been keeping you busy (LOL)...Ooooooh you have been having fun Okay on the serious note I would call what you did irresponsible.Because it's not like you went out there and did it with a stranger.It was with someone that you could share those feelings with.

Got caught up in the moment like any one else would no matter of how many times it happened.It's a beautiful thing when it's shared willing between two people.I don't know much about the morning after pill or IUD but I hope it all works out the way you want it too.I want to ask you this if I can do so.

I don't wanna make you uneasy about this so I hope it won't.I don't if it's the time in your life or what not cause you and only you can determine that.What if it's your time,what if it's God's plan to bless you with a child at this point and time in your life?...I don't want to jinx it but you know it only takes one time to do the deed.

Please try not to get too worked up over this and hope you rest good tonight.I'm keep you in my thoughts and prayers!


I have to catch my flight but will come in tomorrow.EVERYONE BE SAFE!!!!!
 
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slik_kitty responded:
i'm here. lurking in the shadows. lol. all is well though.

hurray for you llt!

I hope your sister is ok gettoknowme

it takes time mary. child abuse is so ingrained in us that it becomes a part of who we are and is hard to get rid of.
 
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gettoknowme replied to slik_kitty's response:
Kitty,


Glad you stopped in and nice to hear things are well with you.The place have been kinda still for a while now and wonder where did the people go?...A few are lurking as you say and the rest I just don't know.


Didn't get a chance to speak to her when I got in cause I was too tired.Just being back here is stirring things up so I'm trying to put them on the back burner for now.Also trying to come up with a way to approach her and get her to tell me what's going on.For one it's been some time now since we had deep conversation and two I realize she's not that same little girl I could get to tell me anything over ice cream and cookies.


She has grown up and in the last couple of months she has changed a whole lot.I just hope it's something I can help with really.It may take longer than I expect on this and my mind is drawing a blank.Any ideas cause I'll try anything,I just don't wanna be the bad guy here.Okay maybe we can go to the mall and check out the cute little stuff animals.

She has a back room with a lot of them.Maybe they have one that she'll like and I can get it for her.Getting out the house may help,I hope so.

Y'all pray for me!!
 
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marysings replied to gettoknowme's response:
I'll pray for you. I hope you're not on a wild goose chase. I also hope you can help your sister. Keep in touch.

Mary
I'm strong willed and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes out of control, but I love and give with all my heart.
 
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gettoknowme replied to marysings's response:
Mary,

Thanks for the praying.


How are you doing?


No it's not a wild goose chase but I wish it was,at least that would be easier to deal with.

Everyone be safe and I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts!!
 
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dem53 replied to gettoknowme's response:
thanks for the mention Dennis, it really means a lot, i wish you and everyone here all the best


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