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When to tell a partner you have Herpes
An_246831 posted:
I have herpes and am not currently outbreaking. I have had 6 sexual partners in my lifetime and have told each partner about my sexual condition. I recently had an experience with a man that we were making out. I stopped things when they were seeming to move into the direction where I felt I should tell him. So I stopped things and he was truely grateful for me telling him. He did touch my vagina with his hand for a split second, not even fingering me, but I stopped things right after he touched me. A few days later he was worried and nervous that he may have contracted herpes on his hand as he has cuts on his hands from his job and worried the virus got in his hand. I appreciate the fact that he is taking this seriously, but this experience and his level of worry make me wonder if I am appropriately telling people. I don't feel it is necessary to tell people if things are not shifting in a sexual position, but at what point does it become my responsibility to tell someone so they absolutely have no worries that they contracted it via kissing, touching, etc. Do I have an obligation at the point of sharing a first kiss with someone? Or at the point of touching someone with my hands (since I do masturbate)? With the technicality of his questions, he really got me thinking of my own actions, as I do not wish to put others at risk without them making an informed decision.

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At what point should you release with a partner that you have Herpes?
  • Upon a handshake
  • Upon first kiss
  • When they go to touch your vagina/penis with their hand
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kandiraynee responded:
I really don't think so; unless you are sexually involved with someone, you are not obligated to disclose your sexual condition/STD. If the guy washed his hands or sanitized them he should be okay.

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