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Just Diagnosed with HSV-2
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SkiMaine1 posted:
Hi-

I'm a 29 year olf female and was diagnosed with HSV-2 last week. I thought I had a bad yeast infection, but wanted to get it checked out before I started treating myself over the counter. Unfortunately I called on a Friday and couldn't get in until the following Monday. When I finally got into the gyno's office on Monday she thought it might be herpes because she could see some lesions but wasn't sure since I had slathered desitin all over me. Of course I was devastated. She gave me a prescription for valtrex and difulcan (for the yeast infection). Waiting for the results was the worst. I finally got them and just started crying. The nurse scheduled me to meet with my gyno this week (Thursday) to go over treatments and how to deal.

After wallowing in self-pity and crying my eyes out, I started googling and noted that many people had recommended "The Good News About the Bad News." I got this overnighted and read it in two days. A very informative read, but I'm still feeling a lot of "why me?". Mainly I feel like it's my fault I got this and I have failed myself. I had been dating someone since November and we have been sexually active. Recently we had moved to long distance due to work (we had met on a Project in another state) and were kinda in the ending phases of our relationship. I visited him a few weeks ago and two days later I noticed I was really sore down there, found a bump, called the gyno and you know the story. Now I have herpes. I called him and he was in total shock- I think he must have been an asymptomatic carrier. He's going to get tested this week.

I'm having trouble trying to figure out where to go from here. I cry almost everynight, which I KNOW is not doing me any good. I'm really trying not to, but its difficult feeling like a social lepper. You always think it can't happen to me and then BAM you have herpes! I feel like an idiot.

Now for some questions about outbreaks-

-I've been having trouble peeing. I've been drinking a ton of water, but can only pee when I feel like I'm going to explode. Does this get better?

-What about constipation? I've been taking a stool softener/stimulant because it was really painful. It seems to be getting better now, but I used to have BMs daily and now it's less frequently

Thanks
Reply
 
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kath07738 responded:
I've never experienced the problems with peeing or constipation due to HSV. It is possible that the stress you are putting yourself under with this news if causing at least the constipation end of it. Stress messes up your whole system.

I would call the gyno or ask when you go in if this is related.

keep smiling - there are tons of us in the same boat!

kath.
 
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LadyRunner6 responded:
You are NOT an idiot. Things like this happen to all sorts of people. I promise you it will get easier with time. I have had HSV2 for 8 years. You're very fortunate to have that book and this board so soon after your diagnosis; I just found them a couple months ago.


Be gentle with yourself. You're under a lot of stress finding out this diagnosis that you never expected to get, you're at the end of a relationship and having to have a very uncomfortable conversation with someone with whom things are dissolving. Do things for yourself to unwind, whatever that means for you. Try breathing exercises. Watch a movie or read a book. Listen to happy music. Hang out with the friend who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts. This will help you realize you'll be happy again because you absolutely will. Herpes is just a bump in the road (pun intended).

Let yourself cry. Sometimes when the body sobs it's because you just need to get all the negative feelings out for an emotional release. That being said, don't live the rest of your life just wallowing in self-pity, but it's healthy to just let it out once in a while. Different things will bring up emotions and it's completely normal.

It's true what The Good News About the Bad News says..the first outbreak is the worst. They won't all be like this. You'll learn what helps you to minimize your symptoms. I definitely recommend embracing your doctor and asking him/her questions in regard to your symptoms for more immediate relief.

Stay strong. You'll get through this. You're not alone. I'm sending happy thoughts your way. Smile! :0)
 
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SkiMaine1 responded:
Thank you to you both for your responses. I went to meet up again with my gyno last Thursday. I felt pretty bad for the nurse who came to see me first because she comes in the room and goes "hi hun, how has your summer been?" and I just started bawling. Then she looked at my chart to see what was wrong and told me its not the end of the world. My gyno came in and was pretty helpful. She told me, like the nurse, that it's not the end of the world and that 1 in 4 people have hsv-2 so I'm not alone. She said, similiar to everything else I've read is that getting over the first emotional hurdle is the hardest. She didn't know of any support groups in the area, but told me it would probably be good to see a therapist to help me get over my feelings of feeling like damaged goods. It was interesting because she said at the last practice she worked at in southern new hampshire, approximately half of her patinents had hsv-2 and it was a pretty wealthy/yuppie community.

I asked her about constipation and she said it's likely related to my stress- as one of you mentioned. I'm starting to get back to normal bowel movement-wise and I've been making sure I've been eating the proper food. Peeing has gone back to normal too. She said that may have been related to me subconsiously being afraid to go since it burned when my sores first appeared. Good point.

Do any of you have any other books to recommend? The more I educate myself, the more I slowly pull myself out of this hole. I've started exercising again (first flag football game of the season today!) which has made me feel better. I hadn't exercised in awhile since my first outbreak hurt so much I felt like I could barely walk. I've been trying to do things that make me happy, but I still have times where I break down and cry and feel lonely. It's a hard pill to swallow, but I've noticed a lot of people posting that they felt a hell of a lot better once they got a grip on reality and started doing things to make themselves happy.

I think seeing a therapist will be good for me and help ease out some of my negative feelings. It's hard enough to be diagnosed with hsv-2 and then at the same time have the person you love (who gave you herpes unknowingly) cut you out of their life. Ugh, stupid boys. I did finally tell my mom I was diagnosed and I instantly felt relief knowing that I could turn to someone. She has been very supportive and educating herself as well so she knows what I'm going through. I'm glad I told someone.

I'll get through this- thanks for your support and kind words! It means a lot to me. I also think I will look into the HC Support Network.

And like you two mentioned, I'm going to focus on ME right now. When the time comes I'll start dating again and if someone can't accept me with a stupid skin condition then they're not worth my time (gotta keep telling myself that).

Thanks!!

K


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