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BF left me after..
Boomercat08 posted:
I dated a man for 1 year before he told me that he had HSV 2. I loved him so accepted the fact that I might actually contract it as well. A year later I was diagnosed and our relationship soured from there. I believe he felt guilty about passing me the virus when he didn't believe our relationship would last. We broke up at the beginning of the summer. So now I'm trying to learn to live with this on my own.

So my question is, now that I'm in the dating game how do you go about the talk? Everyone seems to have it right before an intimate encounter. Is that just more convenient since you kinda have to tell before you go further?

I feel like being up front (after several dates) would be a better route-I guess I'm thinking easier to accept rejection then. Any thoughts?
elle0317 responded:
Yes, I believe you are right. I would not wait until right before an intimate encounter, but rather in another setting much more casual. Go with how you feel is best for you and good luck!
LadyRunner6 responded:
Terri Warren's book The Good News About the Bad News has a whole chapter on how to have the talk. The rest of the book has a lot of facts I didn't know which are helping me start to look at HSV2 more positively.

The Herpes Handbook online had a lot of good info too.

I agree that an intimate moment isn't best because this can be a point of no return where judgment is clouded by hormones. A level-headed discussion with all clothing on is more ideal where the other person can have time to process the information without feeling like they'll slight you if they don't go through with things that very moment. I would definitely wait enough dates that you feel you can trust this person, but ultimately there's never really a convenient time to have the talk.

You have the unique perspective of knowing how your ex told you and whether or not that was how you would have preferred to be told "the news."

You are not alone in feeling a bit lost about how to broach this subject. Good luck!

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