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An_247661 posted:
Recently I met a gal and as the date progressed things got a little heated. We ended up having sex that night.

I feel really stupid now, because AFTER the first date, we started talking about our past, and that's when it hit me that I really should not have been so stupid as to have sex that night, and unprotected. We started talking about our past relationships, and I confided in her that I had been with a few partners prior to us meeting, including a couple of short term relationships. My most recent encounter was a few months ago with a gal I had also met and gone out on a date, which, I had thought there would be a good chance of continuing to see her and did not happen. She was upset because she was rightly now concerned that I may have had something and didn't say anything, which is so far from the truth. The truth is I have never felt symptoms of any kind, never thought for once that I could be infected with anything, and have never felt physically ill in any way. My last test from last fall came back clean, and I am annually tested.

In the last few years since my divorce I have had several partners, none of which I had felt there had been any risk of contracting anything, but again, now in the back of my mind there has been that burning question since the most recent gal had posed the question to me. So, now being scared and not sure, I agreed to get tested.

Today my results came back positive for HSV 1 and 2, and now I am completely devistated. First, there is the chance that I could have infected this girl I recently met, and second, how the hell could I have been so stupid to take unprotected risks.

I have never had any symptoms so from that aspect, I had always assumed I was OK, but I am still ashamed and embarrased as a result of this test...., because now I have tons of questions going through my mind, first..what will happen to this gal I just met, and second...how long have I actually had this, and third, knowing now that I have been totally stupid with my own choices and behavior, what is the potential that I may have infected others?

I am sick to my stomach right now and don't know what to do, but I do know I need to talk to this girl, as well as the others I had relations with in the past few years.....does anyone have any advice on the best way to approach each and every person I plan on contacting? I want nothing but complete honesty and straightforwardness when I discuss my results, and want to do whatever I can to make things right as much as possible from this point forward.....I know I cannot get rid of what I have now, and I really have to be even more straightforward with a potential partner. But right now I cant even think about that. i just want to do whats right for those who I could have hurt. Please, any advice or help will be greatly appreciated
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abe648 responded:
First of all you need to take a deep breath in exhale and RELAX.

You could have had this just recently or for years. There is no real way to know. The first thing you need to know is like you said is to be up front with the last person you had sex with. She needs to know and at this point she should get tested to see her status. She needs a type specific igg blood test to know her herpes status. Note that most STI testing does not include herpes testing. If she comes up negative for HSV 1 & HSv 2 then she should be retested in about 4 months and if she comes back negative at this point then she would most likely not have HSV of either kind. Get educated by looking at the site in my signature line.

About the other people that you have been intimate with it is a rather delicate subject and it is up to you if you want to contact them. If you decide that you do then I would call them on the phone and advise them of your status. I would not recommend using email as one never knows who will read the email. Do not beat yourself up over this. Many people have HSV 2 for many years and have no idea that they have it. Some people have been in a faithful committed relationship for 10, 20 or 30 years and suddenly one person has an out break.

All you can do at this point is move forward with your life and tell any new partners before the two of you have sex. For all you know this current gal will like you for your honesty and stay with you. It is not the end of your love life just because you have genital herpes. God Bless you as you move forward with your life.
Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at http://www.westoverheights.com/


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