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HPV and me...
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HPVruinedme posted:
I don't normally create an account on a website to tell everyone about my personal life, but I feel like at this time in my life I don't have anyone else to talk to. Or maybe I'm just too scared to talk to anyone else... I guess I'm writing this because I'm hoping there is someone out there can help me feel better about my situation so that I can start living my life again… Here's my story I'll try not to drag on too long… (just finished typing and it does so I apologize...)
I am in my late 20's. I have only been with two women my entire life. I see myself as an attractive guy, never had a problem getting a girlfriend. Just wasnt the guy going around trying to get every girl that would have him. I was never the type of guy that would want to go hook up with any random girl just for fun, like all my friends did. (throughout all my teens and 20's...) I always wanted a relationship first, and wanted to make sure that person was the right choice before we got sexual. I guess thinking back my reasons behind that were being worried about pregnancy and STDS, if it ever did happen I wanted to make sure we would both be there for each other.
The first girl I had ever been with, lasted for 5 years, and naturally thought we were going to get married… It was my first love and I know I was blinded. We were both our firsts, and it seemed right. Eventually we grew apart and decided to move on…
The second girl I have ever been with, just ended after a 3+ year relationship. In between that time I semi-dated girls, but nothing serious or sexual ever came out of it. I guess I was always looking for that next girl to fall in love with. I finally found her and was in heaven.
When we first started dating and fell in love, and after we had already been sexual (unprotected), she told me that she thought she might have genital herpes. I checked her out as she asked and saw several little bumps around her genitals, but had no idea what they were. (Should have paid attention in sex ed…) I asked her how many people she had been with? (Never asked before because I didn't care) She then told me at least 50 guys and she has no idea who it could be from. I didn't know what to do and was completely crushed. But, I decided I love her and I will be there for her. A couple weeks later they were gone and never showed their face again, during our 3+ year relationship.
I asked maybe 2-3 times during that 3 year period if she had ever seen anything again, and she always told me no and that it must have been nothing. I agreed because we were always very sexual and I never noticed anything on her again nor did anything ever pop up on me.
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HPVruinedme responded:
We recently separated do to a countless number of small and big problems in both of our lives. It was really stressful on both of us but we knew it was what had to be done so that we could live our lives happy. (Whether it was us planning to get back together [which we planned> or us moving on, we agreed we both wanted each other happy)
After she moved away back home (10 hours), I started getting really stressed out and sad because I missed her. I wasn't eating right, and I also smoke regularly and drink occasionally (when slightly depressed more often then that). Then, I started noticing bumps around my genitals. They looked exactly like what I had seen on my girlfriend three years before. I know I must seem really dumb right now, but I never even looked up what genital herpes even looked like. Well then I did and realized that's exactly what I/we have"026
I told her about it and she denies having them and swears I must have cheated on her. I have never had any type of sexual contact with another person besides these past two"026 She now wants nothing to do with me which is what leaves me to where I am now.
I don't know how I can possibly move on from this. I can't be with the one I wanted, and I don't want to give this disease to anyone else. There is no way I could possibly live with myself if I gave another person a disease and didn't tell them about it first. I try and tell myself that I will find another person with this disease and we will be able to live happily ever after, but I don't know if I ever will. I am very picky from the start which is why I have only been with two other girls, I feel like this disease is going to make me a very sad and lonely old man"026
If you took the time to read this and still decide to reply"026 Thank you so much. You are the first and probably only people I will ever tell. I hope you can help me deal with this, because I feel like I can't deal with it alone
 
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An_247805 replied to HPVruinedme's response:
Your life may have become more complicated but it is definately not ruined. Being honest with your potential partner is the best solution. That honesty should come long before things get heated up.
I was married almost 30 yrs, except for a 3 yr period when he left & we divorced. He was single & wild. I married a friend but that didn't last long. He & the kids wanted us back together. I hadn't wanted the divorce in the first place. We were married for 2 yrs and I had to have an opeation. The surgeon insisted I have my own blood drawn in case of an emergency. At that time they tested for STD's & HIV. I tested negative. Five months ago I thought I was having a yeast infection and went to the doctors.The surgery in 1992 turned out to be Ovarian Cancer last stage 3. My immune system really took a hit with those 18 Chemo treatments. So any time I have to take antibioctics I tend to develop a yeast infection. To my surprise, the Nurse Practitioner says, "You've got genital herpes." I'm like no way! I insisted on the blood test, sure enough it was positive. Knowing I had not been unfaithful I broke the news to my husband. He denied being unfaithful and he never had any breaking out. I went back to the doctors and wanted more answers. At the time I was told some men never have any symptoms, they can carry it and not even know they have it, that it could be dormant up to 10-40 yrs and there was no blood test for a man. I soon for out that was a bunch of BS. The time it can lay dormant changed from 10,20,30 & finally 40 yrs. I went right back to the same doctor's office and told them THERE is a blood test and they need to do it. He came back positive for HSV-1 & HSV-2. Of course then my husband brought up that we hadn't had sex in over 10 years, so it couldn't have been him that gave it to me. He had just lost interest in sex, even though I tried to get him to talk to the doctor about it. I reminded him I had been tested in 1992, 2 years aver we were married and was negative. After reading about others having this itching problem, it sounds very familiar of what he went through for quite sometime. It took him 5 months to agree to the testing and I insist we see a marriage counselor. I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but there's so many things that just don't add up. I don't think I can stay married to someone I can't trust
You hang in there. Do your best to get to know the person you share you bed with. People can be pretty sly.I for one think they should bring back both potential mates having to have a blood test. And the unattached, well maybe they should both go donate blood at the Red Cross and show each other the results!


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