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How do I tell my loved one?
An_248006 posted:
Hi I am a 23 year old female who just found out today that I have genital herpes. I am completely devastated and just cant seem to think about anything else. I have never had an outbreak or any symptoms before and have always had clean pap smears and negative tests every year. I have had only two sexual partners in the last 6 years and my current boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. I need to tell him, but I have no clue where to start. I love this man very dearly and just think that the worst is going to happen when I tell him. I cant stop thinking about it and would feel like my world was ending if he left me because of this. I have done nothing wrong and have always been faithful. Can someone please help me in the best ways I should approach my boyfriend about this?
Needtoknow04 responded:
I recently found out that I have hsv 1 and 2. After ending my relationship of 5 years, I had a test done and found out I was infected with the virus. Six months ago I met a man that I fell madly in love with and he with me. We both decided to have tests done and because of my result my news to him was not all happy. After a few days of pondering and posting on here, I decided that the best approach was a direct approach because he is away in Afghanistan and planning on coming home to the States to visit me for 6 months. I did not want him to come home and not know everything about me that mattered and so I told him what my results were and waited for him to say something nasty or insulting but all he said was that he loved me and will always love me. He told me he will help me to deal with what is going on and that we will be find and that I should not worry. Just tell him in a conversation and do not make it seem as if something is wrong. Approach him directly and ask to speak with him, do not act as if it is extremely important. Speak without self loathing or fear. It might be good to have some factual information ready just incase he asks any questions. I believe that love can overcome many things and so far I am happy I told my boyfriend.
abe648 responded:
have to know that perhaps he has HSV 2 and does not even know it. Many people who get tested for HSV 1 & 2 have no idea they have it.

This is not a big deal and so do not make it a big deal. You need to get educated and go to the site in my signature line. There is lots of help with educating yourself.

Once you have more info then you can tell him in person and do not cry just be very easy going and tell him what you have found out and that he needs to get tested to see what his status is as well. If you would feel better writing him a letter that also works as you can word it just the way you like and then he can read it and then you can answer any questions that he may have. If there is something you cannot answer then tell him you will find the answer and come back here and ask someone on the exchange and they can answer it and you can give him an answer.

RELAX and be not concerned about what happens. There is someone who will love you even it this guy does not. God Bless You and let us know how things go.
Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at

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