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    An_248192 posted:
    I have recently acquired a case of OCD. but my OCD is fueled by fear. I am a young woman. And I have only been involved with one person my entire life, for the last 3 and a half years. Something happened a while ago, that has been eating away at me. As difficult as this is for me to say, this is the only way to get some relief. I engaged in oral sex with my boyfriend, Early morning hrs.. went to sleep.. woke up later that Same morning, and spent the rest of the day at the fair. dropped my boyfriend off later that night, went home. The next day, went to a friends house, and into half of the day, or even as early as noon? I felt the irritation of a cold sore, looked in the mirror and I saw it. I know there is a period between when you first come in contact with this virus, and when it shows up. And normally there are signs so that you can prevent this from happening.. and if there were any signs I wrongfully passed them off as having chapped lips..I remember having chapped lips. I know I may have used poor judgment and I feel extremely terrible. I have over analyzed this a million times, recapturing, trying to think of any possibility, that this may have happend, after the fact. Spending the rest of the day at the fair, you touch many surfaces. or the next day eating a bowl of chili, at a friends house, down to.. I remember waking up that same morning, and looking in the mirror, to get ready.. I didn't see one. In the time frame between the later morning hours, the rest of the day at the fair, and the next day going to a friends house.. IS it possible that I could have acquired one after the fact?? Could I have acquired one at the fair? and it show up as early as the next day? or soon after eating a bowl of chili? Could I have aquired both the irritation, and visually seeing one.. soon after eating? Unfortunatley, the time frame between the intamacy with my boyfriend (early morning) then the rest of the day at the fair that same day, and going to a friends house the next day.. where I first noticed one, is only about a day and a half.. I read it is up to 2 days between exposure, and syptoms.. but is anything I said, after the fact possible, how can I be sure for both his sake and mine? Also, I read about false negatives.. and ALL of the test.. that I read about.. seem to NOT be 100% affective or accurate.. ALL that I read about have the ability to give off false negatives.. Blood tests show visible antibodies, how ever if there are no signs of an outbreak, or they have begun to heal.. antibodies do not nessecarily show up? Right. or wrong? same with Coulture test I read.. and those were listed as the MOST acurate.. which seemingly, isn't all that acurate.. leaving only uncertainty... What do you recommend?? I understand this is very time consuming, but I have so many Q's... I really love this person and I would hate myself if I put him or me in danger.. I never felt comfortable doing it anyway, I didn't mean for any of this... NEXT, herpes 1 and 2 ... they stay on surfaces for 24 hrs? What about Casually touching Anything? This has flared my OCD to the max, washing my hands over and over.. to the point where my hands are dry, and cracked leaving more exposure to germs. Which I can't coompletely stop, so I bought anti-bacterial soap w/ moisturizer.. Which is only Anti-BACTERIAL what about viruses? LAST, my OCD has reached the point of ppl wanting to interfere, Parents yelling at me to Stop.. I was wearing gloves to prevent the exposure of my dry, cracked, open cut hands( the result of accesive washing w/ ajax bleach alt. dish soap) because it was all I had.One of my parents who have Hep C and I don't know what else.. was yelling at me and wouldn't let me put my gloves on.. (which I read.. would also aid in helping relieve dry skin) leaving my hands exposed. they were so close to me yelling, that,(THIS is no axaggeration) They spit all over me as well as, my exposed hands.. can I get a disease like this? Saliva on open wounds??
    Needtoknow04 responded:
    The first thing to do is breathe. It might sound silly but you muct realize that if you do have hsv 1 or 2, going balistic over it will not solve anything. You also must realize that this is not a life-threatening situation where you are going to die or your partner is going to die. If you learn to breathe and put things into perspective with this virus, then you will soon realize that it is not as bad as it seems. There is a stigma attached to every sexually transmitted disease and you need to realize that you are stigmatizing yourself by being so worked up. It will not help your situation one bit. I know this is easier said than done, especially in the beginning but you have to try. Go to your doctor and get a hsv test done. This should be your second step because if you do not know for sure what you have you can be over-reacting for nothing. Then, if your results are positive, get your partner to take a test. Do not approach the situation as if you are a criminal who have committed a crime, and do not accuse him of anything. Simply let him know how you are feeling, tell him about your test, and if he really love you then you both can work on dealing with the virus. He might not even have known he had it. I just had to tell my partner about having hsv 1 and 2 and that was not easy to do. But, instead of looking at myself like a victim and feeling disgusted, I empowered myself by realizing that I deserve love no matter what, and this is not something that should ruin my life. He told me we would work on dealing with the virus and that he loved me no matter what. You are doing your hands a grave disservice by allowing this OCD to overpower you to the point of putting yourself in worst danger. I seriously do not think you might have gotten anything from the chili you ate or from the fare. Even though viruses might survive on surfaces for awhile, I don't believe that is how you caught your cold sore. Your cracked, dry hands, however, can become a breeding ground for germs that might be worst that what you think you have. My sister used to use sanitizers and antibacterial soaps on everything until she became so sick and was told she had suppressed her immune system by not allowing it to become exposed to normal germs. She had to stop being so scared of what might be and simply accept that not all germs are bad. Please stop working yourself up until you have gotten tested. And, please return and let me know what the result was. There are many readable material on here that will help you learn about the herpes virus if you do have it. They will also tell you about relationships and herpes, and how to tell your significant other. Remember there are many people here to help you through this. And, DO NOT FORGET TO BREATHE.
    MissCalifornia replied to Needtoknow04's response:
    Thank you very very much
    Needtoknow04 replied to MissCalifornia's response:
    You are very welcome. Like many people have said to me on here, after you have decided on what to do and have done it, please come back and let me know what happened. Remember that we are here to help.

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