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Recent herpes diagnosis, still in shock maybe, suggestions and advice would be welcome
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blh007 posted:
Hello, I am a twenty-two year old female and have just today been diagnosed with herpes; happy christmas to me huh? I immediately started the Valtrex but as this is my first outbreak I am having trouble dealing with the symptons. I am exceptionally uncomfortable and am wondering if anyone could offer up any suggestions on what to do to make the blisters less uncomfortable? I think that they are starting to pop now (which from my research seems normal??) and I am insanely uncomfortable. So any home remedies or ointments that anybody could recommend I would be SO appreciative.

Also, I think I'm handling this pretty well. I cried a little bit but there's nothing I can do at this point I guess. But I am nervous about telling the guy I'm seeing. He's a great guy and I really like him but I'm almost positive he gave it to me. He's the only guy I've had unprotected sex with in a long time. I'm not resentful towards him but I really have no idea how to go about doing this! Right now we're both home visiting friends/family for the holidays but I'll see him shortly after the new year. Should I wait until the holiday season is over or should I call him up and let him know now?? I just don't know what to do!!

Oh and finally, I'm a bigtime traveler. I oftentimes am out of the country for months at a time teaching English or volunteering; how is this new diagnosis of herpes going to affect me from here on out? Am I stuck in the US forever now? I can't imagine having an outbreak in rural India; I think I would literally want to die. Has anyone had to deal with living with herpes while traveling extensively? I don't want this to rule my life!

Thank you so much. I think I'm still in shock, maybe I'll get upset in a day or two but any advice/suggestions would be absolutely fantastic.
Reply
 
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abe648 responded:
Here are some tips to help the pain for you. First of all sit in a bath of Epsom salts to make you feel better. You can also get a can of Demoplasty get the Blue can NOT the red can. try to keep things dry down yonder. The dryer it is the better you will feel. if you can walk around the house when you are at home with no underwear on so that the area can breathe. When you go out for the day take some corn starch in a container and apply liberally to the area and also put lots in your underwear. Corn starch helps to keep things dry down yonder. If your urine is running over the sores then have a bottle of water to pour over the area as you urinate. Also drink more water as that will make your urine less acidic.

For traveling make sure you have suppressive therapy so that you can take that to help control your ob's. Your ob's hopefully will decrease in severity as the first ob is always the worst. If things still do not feel better in 2 weeks go back and be seen by your Doc as you gals can get other issues that are not herpes.

When it comes to your bf I would not tell him will you are apart for Christmas as it would just ruin his Christmas. If he did give it to you then he needs to get a type specific igg blood test to see what his status is. Ask him to get a copy of his test results and post them on here so someone help him confirm his status.

When telling him do it outside of the bedroom and tell him as soon as possible and before the two of you have sex again. Tell him that you are not mad at him. You should tell him in person and make sure that you have the Herpes Handbook so he can read it. See my signature line for details. If you would feel better then sit down and write him a letter and give it to him to read if you feel you would break down. So far you seem to be doing ok. Let us know if you get down and let us know how you feel so we can help you throought this. God Bless you and have a Merry Christmas
Abe ... Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at http://www.westoverheights.com/
 
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CountryGirl2013 responded:
Hi there!

I'm 20 yrs old and was diagnosed (visually) just a week ago myself with herpes. I told my boyfriend right away but I did it in person and I had all the information I could ring out the doctor who diagnosed me with it prepared so that we sorta knew what was going on and I could try to answer most of his questions. Mostly just try to be honest as best you can.

Mostly we've been getting through this taking it like a "cold." People get colds, feel crappy, take medication and probably not want to have sex right? It helps with the mental side of dealing with herpes which, once the discomfort lessens, is probably that worst of the diagnosis.

Not sure if this will help you at all, but keep your head up! Everything works itself out
 
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blh007 replied to abe648's response:
Thanks for your suggestions abe648, I appreciate it.

I ended up telling my bf over the phone because I just couldn't hold it in any longer. It ended up being a good thing because he said that he had some "razor burn" that wasn't going away. He was visually diagnosed the next day and put on Valtrex. He's definitely going through all of the stages of herpes, though his seems a lot milder than mine. But that could just be him not wanting to tell me everything.

I've shared a lot of the information with him (including the Herpes Handbook) and a few tips I've found online to make him more comfortable. Is there anything more specific to males that you think I should share with him?

Christmas was rough yesterday. The meds make me feel rather sick and sitting down to open presents wasn't too comfortable with my family, but I made it through. Thanks for your help and have a happy new year!
 
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blh007 replied to CountryGirl2013's response:
Thanks CountryGirl2013,

That's a good way to think about it. I am definitely going to try and change my thinking about the whole thing. Lately, I've just been a bit sad but I guess that comes with the territory.

Thanks again
 
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abe648 replied to blh007's response:
Hi I think that the things I told you to do will work for him as well. I am glad that youu told him and it seems like that you both had a good talk and that is what it is all about. Communication with each other and not holding anyting back from each other.

If he does in fact have herpes then there is no need to use suppressive thearpy if you do not want to. Just avoid sex for comfort reasons when either of you have an ob. That is provide both of you have the same herpes down yonder. Let us know what type you have once the lab results come cabk.

God Bless you and Have a Happy New Year.

Let us know how things go with you two so we can help you with any other issues.
Abe ... Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at http://www.westoverheights.com/


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