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    37 years old and just diagnosed with Herpes
    An_249701 posted:
    Hello. I'm 37 years old and was married for 14 years. Last year I divorced my husband. In July I met a man and fell hard. We started dating and having sex almost immediately. We have had unprotected sex since then. I have only been intimate with 2 men in my entire life. In the last week however, my ex husband and I have been talking and he wants to try and give it another shot. We have 3 kids and I do want my family back together again but I care about my boyfriend a lot. A week ago I started having itching down there and then it started hurting and I noticed a bunch of sores. I went to the dr yesterday and my dr diagnosed me with Herpes just by visual exam. I had blood drawn as well to determine if its HSV-1 or HSV-2. I won't know until Monday most likely. I'm so upset. I don't understand how this could be happening to me. It's Murphy's law for sister has slept with multiple partners in the past 10 years and I've had 2....she's clean as a whistle. I'm in so much pain right now....physically and emotionally. I haven't talked with my boyfriend yet as my dr suggested I wait to find out if its 1 or 2. My dr put me on Acyclovir, 1 400mg tablet 3 times a day. I just took my 4th pill this morning. I don't really notice much of a difference in the way I feel since yesterday. I can't pee without putting Lidocaine ointment all over which stings also but not for long. I've tried peeing while in the bathtub and that hurts just as bad. I did notice a lot of white stuff when I went to the bathroom a bit ago so I'm assuming the blisters are popping. Can someone please give me some insight as to how long this will take before I can sit without pain, pee without pain, stages of the blisters etc.
    abe648 responded:
    If this is your first outbreak then the acyclovir should start to make you feel better. It can take a little while and the best thing you can do when going to the bathroom is take some
    water in a container and pour it over the area as you urinate and that will make it feel better. Start drinking more water as the nore water you dring the less acidic your urine will be and it will not burn as bad.

    As for the white discharge this is not common with herpes sounds more like some type of infection and not herpes related. It is quite common to get yeast or bacterial infections and you think it is herpes but most likely it is not. Go and be seen to see if there is something else going on down yonder.

    The first ob can last two weeks but with each passing day it will get better and the fact that you are taking Acycllovir will help as well. If you can at home do not wear any underwear and just leave it open down yonder to air out.. The dryer you can keep it down yonder the better it will feel. If you have to go out or go to work then take some corn starch with you in a container and apply liberally after using the bathroom. Both on the affected area and also in your underwear as corn starch acts as a drying agent and the dryer youu are down yonder the better you will feel.

    If you have any questions that come up ask and someone will try to help you with them. God Bless you.

    Read the items as per my signature line below.
    Abe ... Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at
    AmberBee responded:

    I was also recently (12/24/12) diagnosed with Herpes. I am not sure if I have HSV 1 or 2, but my doctor told me this did not matter. I know how you're feeling because I felt the same. Finding out I have Herpes was definitely more emotionally upsetting than physically painful/damaging for me, but having a family friend who also has HSV as well as HIV, Abe648, and Terri Warren's Herpes Handbook in Abe's signature REALLY helped me realize this is not the end of the world...

    While I was experiencing my first outbreak it felt like the end of the world because I was in pain and uncomfortable, could not stop thinking about the fact that I had herpes, and just all the other social implications having herpes would cause for me (I was basically feeling like damaged goods)...and just like you, I've also only had 2 sexual partners and have TONS of friends that have had multiple sexual partners and never even had so much as a pregnancy scare....I guess we're just the luck of the draw.... anyhoo, my family friend put it in perspective for me by letting me know that having Herpes is like having any other chronic condition--such as diabetes, high blood pressure, or a heart condition (except herpes is not life threatening like those conditions)--and it can be managed and you can live a normal life, just like with any other chronic condition (and that normal life does include a healthy sex life as well).

    As I see it now after so much support, herpes won't ruin my life, but it does mean I have to be more careful in regards to future sexual encounters (I guess at least I'll always have a topic starter to bring up STDs with future partners now) and I may have to start suppresive therapy and take better care of my body to keep my immune system strong and able to fight back.....

    Ultimately, you have to realize for yourself that having herpes is not the end of the world, and perhaps try to see some positives that could come out of this for you. For me, it's motivation to take better care of my body and it will definitely slow me down in the relationship department and take my time in the future to really get to know someone.

    As for the physical pain, I was also on acyclovir 3 times a day for 7 days (took my last pill this past sunday) and now my first OB has cleared up. I checked myself and the sores have healed and it no longer hurts to pee or anything like that....I would suggest while you're peeing to try leaning forward or just getting into some position that makes it so the urine is not directly flowing over your sores....this REALLY helped me and all I did was lean forward (sometimes you'll have to lean forward a lot)

    also keeping the areas dry and clean REALLY helped. I stopped putting lotion in the affected area while I had an OB and I made sure to pay extra attention to the area while drying off after a shower.

    I hope all this advice makes you feel a little better, and I would definitely suggest reading the Herpes Handbook (link in Abe's signature). It made me feel A LOT better and put a lot of this into perspective.
    SHentsch75 replied to AmberBee's response:
    Thank you for your response. It is starting to feel better with each passing day but urinating is still excruciating. I'm so tired of crying every time I need to go to the bathroom. It makes me not want to drink anything. I've been using Lidocaine and it was working but I am noticing that its initially stinging a lot more each time I put it on so I'm trying to avoid using it. Of course after about 15 to 20 seconds it doesn't sting's numb but wow those are the longest 15-20 seconds ever! I'm not near as swollen as I was but I one particularly large blister that hasn't popped yet. I keep looking at that one only because its so noticeable I guess hoping its popped....I guess maybe once that one pops I will feel like this stuff is going away. The rest of them don't appear to have any fluid in them. Emotionally I'm getting better but it is hard on me thinking that my ex husband and I are going to try and give it another shot and here I have picked up something that could jeopardize every thing!
    SHentsch75 replied to abe648's response:
    Thank you for the advice. I will have to pick up some corn starch. Telling me two weeks makes me want to cry since I'm only on day 3 since I started the meds (I'm on day 6 of the actual initial ob but thought I was dealing with a horrible yeast infection so didn't go to the dr until day 3.) I honestly think I want to stay on the medicine continuously forever just to hopefully ward off future ob's or at least minimize them. The discharge is gone too so I'm not sure what that was about. Unfortunately I'm not able to go without underwear as I run a daycare out of my home so don't think that's going to work. I have tried sitting in the bath tub and peeing while sitting in the water.....just the water touching me down there is painful. Peeing while standing in the shower is painful....the only thing that works is the lidocaine and it stings horribly for 15 -20 seconds. Seems like the stinging is getting worse as time goes on. Every night I pray hard that the next day I will feel better and be able to pee without pain....every morning however I'm filled with disappointment.
    AmberBee replied to SHentsch75's response:
    I'm so sorry to hear you are in so much pain right now, but it does get better! Also, everyone says the first outbreak is the worst and any that follow aren't as bad (I don't know this to be true since I just got over my first OB) during my outbreak I did not look at the affected area...I think looking at it constantly would have made me feel worse or at the very least would not have helped me any to see the blisters.

    My family friend told me I need to take time to process what has happened to me and become comfortable with it and learn all I can about it before telling other people....I would suggest the same for you. If your ex husband truly loves you herpes should not stop him from being with you....when you feel comfortable, you should tell him, but also make sure you having information you can give him on herpes. Seriously just the WORD herpes sounds worse than what it truly is.

    Not to down play the fact that we have a very uncomfortable virus that we have to deal with for the rest of our lives...but when you have more information about what herpes is you realize it's not horrible. Once you know this, you can tell your exhusband and let him decide if he's willing to take the miniature risk associated with being sexually active with someone who has herpes.... (again, Herpes Handbook was awesome in explaining the risk factors associated with being in sexual relationships post-diagnosis)

    Also, the Herpes Handbook talks about how you can tell your that section would be very helpful for you!

    warm regards,

    abe648 replied to SHentsch75's response:
    You need to know if you have HSV 1 or 2 genitally. If your Doc says that you have HSV 2 because it is in the genital area that is not a good enough answer. If your Doc took a swab to test you for herpes then ask your Doc to call the lab and get them to type the results so you know if you have HSV 1 or 2 genitally. The only way to know if you have HSv 1 is via swab/culture/typing to confirm which it is. You can have HSV 1 genitally. HSV 1 geniatally has a lot less obs.

    I do trust that God will bless you when it comes to getting back together with your husband. God Bless your marriage.
    Abe ... Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at

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